


Obsidian Crown

by YourShadow



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Abuse, M/M, Pedophilia, Sociopath!Sebastian, Stockholm Syndrome, dark!fic, more warnings in the chapters, slight cielxalois, slight cielxclaude
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-02-15 05:07:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2216859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourShadow/pseuds/YourShadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ciel may be the king, but Sebastian is the knight of this chess set. </p>
<p>A re-evaluation of the master/servant roles. Sociopath!SebxCiel, slight CielxAlois and CielxClaude. Chess metaphor. Abuse, torture, rape. </p>
<p>Beta'd by my waifu PetraJade~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love, Hate, Sex, Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji, nor do I own any music-related references, such as the song titles. This song is by Godsmack.
> 
> Warning: Dark fic. Abuse, both sexual (rape, molestation) and physical (torture), are present and mentioned. Themes of homosexuality (yaoi) and pedophilia (shota). Mental torment and humiliation. The chapter title pretty much explains everything.
> 
> Like with Born a Monster, this fic will have song titles for chapter titles, so look at the titles for hints of what the chapter will hold. The timeline and setting for this fic takes place within the second season of the anime, around the time after Claude and Alois come face to face with Ciel and Sebastian, but before all the craziness (we’ll skip over that, seeing as I have my own craziness in mind). Also, Petra Jade will be my beta reader for this, because it takes two to do the Danse Macabre~

Ciel Phantomhive awoke again with the same feeling of being broken. He tentatively opened his eyes when he heard the curtains being drawn. Light shone in through the windows, illuminating his butler. Ciel did not flinch because of the sun, but because of what he saw in the darkness within it. Watching his butler slowly walk to the other side of the bed, his eyes wary, he could feel himself already beginning to tremble.

“Good morning, young master.” His butler greeted with a warm smile and soft tone. It was like always, as if nothing happened.

During the day Sebastian Michaelis, Ciel’s demon butler, was kind and gentle. He listened to Ciel’s every order, aided him, poured his tea, buttoned his coat, and scheduled his time according to the needs of the Phantomhive household. Just like any butler would do—and then some, being a demon as well.

But at night, that all changed. At night, the butler was gone and the demon came out, irises shining crimson. Orders were ignored, much to the dismay of the Earl. At night, the abuse started.

Ciel dreaded the night.

His voice was still hoarse from screaming, so he gave no response. He had no idea why…no idea how to stop it…he cringed at every word and movement. Jolted at every touch. Shuddered every time Sebastian came near. He wasn’t sure how much longer he would last.

“Sleep well, my lord?” Sebastian cooed, his eyes low and mouth in an open smile. He knew full well that when he left, the nightmares took over. If Ciel slept at all, it was never well. He reached out to brush some hair out of the boy’s eyes, who scrambled back, wincing. Sebastian only smirked, teasing. “Perhaps not.”

Ciel could not control his heartbeat, pumping wildly behind his chest, filling his ears with the frantic beating of drums. His breath came out ragged, rubbing against his already raw throat. It hurt. His arms barely held him up, they wobbled, showing purple and green marks all along the thin skin, especially near his wrists. He could still feel the rope burning into his flesh.

Sebastian held out a hand toward him and waited, leveling his young master with a heated look. It was not a request.

Hesitantly, fearfully, Ciel approached the edge of the bed, letting his battered legs hang off the side. Sebastian opened his sleep shirt to reveal more bruises blossoming over pale skin, across his chest, along his ribs, over his gut. They led downward as well, but Sebastian did not lower his gaze. The time to linger has passed, and he must resume his faithful duty as butler for the day.

“Are you cold?” he asked smoothly, dressing the boy who was shaking violently. When their eyes met the shaking halted, fear freezing his limbs in place.

“Se…Sebastian…” his name was breathed through swollen lips. A tear slid down the pale cheek, and Sebastian used his thumb to wipe it away.

“Is there something you would like to say, young master?” he asked. A challenge to speak up, to say what he knew was on his master’s mind. Would he dare?

Ciel’s mouth opened, but nothing came out. His throat closed, sealing the words deep inside. The words he couldn’t say. The questions he couldn’t bring himself to ask.

_Sebastian, why are you doing this to me?_

The boy shook his head, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. A cup of tea was lifted to him and he took it, his hands becoming steady as the warmth seeped into his bones. He drank greedily, despite the burn as it rolled down his dry throat. It soothed him in so many ways.

_Why do you keep hurting me like this?_

Sebastian’s smile returned to normal, no more taunting and haunting. Silence passed as he added the final touches to Ciel’s outfit. Then it came time to stand. The butler gave Ciel his hand to help him, and the master slowly took it, using it as a crutch as he put his legs on the ground and pushed. Ciel prayed they would not give out.

_Why do you ignore my orders to stop?_

There was a moment when Ciel feared he would fall into Sebastian’s chest, but his strength returned just in time to steady his legs. Tugging his hand out of Sebastian’s grip, he walked forward, feeling every muscle bunch and ache beneath his damaged skin. But he could not stop now, he had to keep going.

_Why? What did I do to you to make you treat me this way?_

* * *

 

As the day wore on, Ciel watched the sun lower in the sky. His butler was subservient, taking care of the daily chores as usual, without a hint of malice in his voice or actions. But Ciel knew that once the sun went down, that act would vanish.

For the first time, he actively remained passive. If the night was revenge for events during the day, then maybe there was a way to prevent or lessen the punishment.

“You’ve been quiet, young master.” Sebastian remarked as he brought in lunch.

Ciel nodded. He still could not speak much.

“Is there something wrong?”

“No…this looks delicious.” His voice cracked near the end and he swallowed a sip of his drink.

“A compliment? What is the occasion, my lord?” Sebastian purred, smiling again. A threat hid behind that smile.

Ciel paused, glancing at his butler who gained a menacing stare. “N-nothing.” He whispered shakily. He briefly wondered if the food was poisoned or had some kind of drug in it, but shook the thought from his mind. Compliance. That _had_ to work.

Sebastian frowned. Willingness was not the issue.

That first time, Ciel screamed. He screamed so hard and so long, he couldn’t speak for days afterward. He couldn’t go _near_ Sebastian for days afterward as well. He was so confused, frightened, humiliated, _betrayed_. He once had complete trust and faith in his butler, because the demon followed every order—had to, it was in the contract—even though he sometimes came late, or just in the nick of time, and didn’t always do as his master said. But that night…when Ciel shouted for him to stop, when he ordered Sebastian to refrain from his actions, shrieked the word “no” until his throat bled, his butler… _refused_.

Ciel never knew fear until that moment. True fear, the kind that strikes with the quickness of a snake, sinking its fangs into soft flesh and injecting venom into the bloodstream. He was frozen, so cold, and helpless to save himself. He could do nothing but lay on his stomach, mouth open in a silent scream, eyes wide and wet with tears, blurring the image of his pillow and headboard into a dark gray puddle.

He kept screaming out the order, as if repetition was the key. He never allowed himself to believe Sebastian was willingly, knowingly hurting him, as well as ignoring his protestations. Hurting him in such a way no one else ever could—not his tormentors, who offered him up as a sacrifice once they were done with him, not the underground criminals who he went after, not even the worst of his enemies—hurting him in an intimate way. It penetrated him deep, not just Sebastian’s penis wedged inside, too far for his virgin hole, but the loss of trust.

Ciel never felt safe again. His world, his body, was broken and shattered. He thought it could never happen again, he thought he was turned into the strongest of steel once the contract was made. But even steel can bend under the right pressure, and Sebastian applied that pressure until the steel snapped in half.

Thinking about it, dreading the coming night, made Ciel lose his appetite. Holding the napkin to his lips for a moment as he quelled the urge to regurgitate his meal, he pushed the plate slightly back. “I have had enough…thank you.” He whispered.

Sebastian bowed and took the plate away, looking into Ciel’s eyes as he did so. That look sent a cold sweat down the boy’s back, made his limbs quake. The urge to run, to get away, suddenly threatened to overtake him. A rumble in his stomach, a tightening of his chest, the vibrations in his throat were ready to unleash a horrified scream able to shatter glass. But he held them in, the overwhelming sensations of terror. It was becoming increasingly difficult, knowing what was coming and feeling it creep across his skin, but he hoped one day it would end.

Because if he ever got used to it, grew accustomed to it and even welcomed it, he knew his soul’s death would be accomplished.

Sebastian pulled his chair out and he stood, checking the time as he always did, before quickly looking away. Watching the clock only added to his agony and impending fear. But if he allowed it to approach too quickly, the feeling would swell and burst within him, and he would be unable to contain the obvious fright he felt. He could not give Sebastian the satisfaction of taking away his dignity. His pride was the only thing he held onto, the only thing Sebastian had yet to take from him. How long would it last?

 _‘I have to do something, but what?’_ he asked himself as he returned to his study. There were documents to occupy his mind with, allowing the day to pass. At times the business was welcomed to ease his mind, but soon he realized that submerging himself in work only hurried the inevitable. But the longer he thought about what was to come, the more painful the tension in his limbs, until he could _feel_ the pain beginning as if a tangible memory. A premonition based on the nights before.

Occasionally his eyes would flicker to the amount of light let in by the window, measuring it as the sun’s rays receded further behind him. It made him twitch, but he couldn’t help it. He could feel it building up inside him, thunder without lightning, an earthquake with no sound. But the crack would come, and the rumbling of the earth’s vibrations would soon let loose from his throat. He was not sure if he would ever be able to stop himself from screaming. Would it be a good thing if he ever did, or just signal his own doom? How far would Sebastian break him down? Until there was nothing left?

He clenched the paper in his hand tightly, listening to the sound of it crunching, focusing on the way it felt in the palm of his hand. He would rather endure a thousand paper cuts all over his body than submit to the torture that was to come. He knew now, it was getting time. Just a little longer. Hold on just a little longer…

“Young master?” the words made Ciel’s blood rush out of his face, leaving him even paler than normal, and cold. His grip on the paper tightened, but he forced his hand to relax slowly and smooth the paper to read it over once again. His mind was unable to comprehend the words, but he had to pay attention. This was important. This was a distraction.

“It’s getting late, I believe it is time to retire for the night.” Sebastian was barely hiding the pleasure in his voice at this point. There was no façade to be seen.

“I must look over these documents. Then I shall retire.” Ciel replied, grateful for his steady voice, despite how weak it was. If he could give himself more time, if he could hold himself up longer, maybe he could survive this night.

He saw his butler frown from the corner of his uncovered eye. He didn’t want to make Sebastian angry, but the hope of delay, even delaying the inevitable, was too enticing to ignore. His eyes remained on the paper as Ciel tried forcing himself to read and understand the words. But it was no use, they jumbled together, blurred and unfocused, the longer he stared. Sebastian must have known this. He must have seen the way Ciel’s eyes remained on the same sentence instead of running across the page.

Taking the papers out of his hand, he set them on the desk and pulled the chair out. “You can continue in the morning. You are done for the night.”

No sarcastic, sassy, or snarky remark was made in reply. Ciel did not have the confidence to tell Sebastian what he usually would. He could not huff and snort, give him a haughty look and bark out an order. His courage, his strength, was gone. It fled the moment his trust was broken, along with his body. Next to go, he assumed, was his mind.

Already he could feel it, the animalistic urge to flee, the fight or flight system rearing back and preparing to set itself in motion. The drums returned, drowning out whatever words Sebastian was speaking to him. His eyes were on the desk, but they did not see the mahogany wood. His body was not his own, prickling and tingling, convulsing. Sebastian had to drag him out of the chair. Ciel choked back a sob. _Hold on_.

“Come, my lord, let’s get you bathed first.”

The young lord bit his lip to keep from shouting. It was the delay he prayed for, but it only increased the tension in his muscles and fearful anticipation. He had no control over his trembling limbs, and was unable to speak lest he started begging for mercy. It was not time yet. He still had the strength to merely scream. He did not lose enough of himself to begin putting words into those screams, nor allow his tears to gain speech.

But still, he could feel the storm rising in his chest, roiling and tightening, lashing out at him. Blood roared in his ears, joining with the drumbeat of his heart, matching the water being poured into the tub. He was stripped, goose-bumps immediately rising on his exposed skin. He was helped into the tub, the warm water alleviating some of the cold and stiffness of his muscles. But he could not fully relax. Not with Sebastian’s hands on him.

“You have been extremely quiet all day, master. Whatever could be on your mind?” his butler said lightly. It was a teasing question. Ciel did not answer. “If you do not tell me now, you will scream it out later.” The voice darkened, full of spine-tingling, blood-curdling horror. Ciel could feel the goose-bumps return, the hair on his neck and scalp rising. Despite the warm temperature of the bath, he was suddenly freezing again.

“I…I’m not…” he stammered breathily. He was shaking so much the water around him was splashing all over himself and Sebastian. His butler knew full well what plagued his thoughts, did he really have to say it?

“Not what? Not thinking? Do not _lie_ to me, young master.”

“S-se…Sebas-…Sebastian…” he quivered.

“Yes?”

“I…I am afraid.” He whispered, feeling the tears forming already. The pain had not even come yet and already he was breaking apart. It was the dread, the knowledge of the future of this night, that got to him. “I’m so scared.” He squeaked, flinching.

Sebastian’s hands rested on him, soft. He knew behind him that smirk was winding its way across his butler’s mouth. The hands roamed his body, full of soap, after a moment of stillness. “Afraid of what? Scared of whom?”

“You…what you do to me…” he whimpered.

“And what is it that I do to you, young master, which makes you so frightened?”

Ciel wanted to start yelling. He wanted to shout that his butler knew exactly what he was so afraid of and to stop tormenting him. He wanted to order Sebastian to leave him alone, to never touch him again, and for once have the order be acknowledged. But he held it all in. One night he would burst, spilling forth everything he kept bottled up inside. One night his shattered soul would splinter out of him. But tonight was not that night.

“Tell me, young master.” Sebastian’s lips were at his ear. “What are you so afraid of?” he asked sensually.

Ciel’s skin bunched so tight, it was painful to even think of moving. He was wound and bound inside, his bones creaking and aching, begging to be released. But he could not relax. Not with those _hands_.

“Sebastian.” He cried out. It was as much of an admission the demon would get.

His butler smiled and continued washing him. “You are sufficiently clean now. Time for bed.” The demon murmured at his ear again once he was done.

Ciel gripped the edges of the tub tightly until his knuckles matched the porcelain. Sebastian lifted him by the armpits, but Ciel held on, feeling his fingers being stretched and pulled, nearly breaking. The butler glared, tugging again. Ciel let out a pained grunt that fell into a whimper.

“If you do not let go, your fingers will break.” Sebastian snarled.

“And if you hurt me…” Ciel breathed out, gaining some resolve, “our contract is broken.”

“Is that what you still believe?”

“Is it not already broken?”

Sebastian replied by shoving the back of his marked hand to Ciel’s right eye, the one which when uncovered had a purple mark centered over his blue eye. The one that began to glow as Sebastian’s matching mark was held in front of it.

“Does it _look_ like our contract is broken?”

Ciel could not stop the tears from pouring out of his eyes. “No.” he squealed. He closed them, loosening his grip, and was pulled out of the tub. Wrapped in a towel, he was carried to the bed, crying and trembling into Sebastian’s chest. “Nooooo…” he heard himself moan out as he was placed on the bed. It was the pre-chorus. He could not hold it back any longer.

“Yesssss, my lord.” His butler hissed, leaning in close.

Ciel shook his head, sobbing, choking on his tears as his breathing became ragged. Sebastian began to disrobe, sliding out of his coat-tails and unbuttoning his vest. Ciel pulled himself back, to the middle of the bed, his feet slipping on the covers. Sebastian looked up and he stopped. Their eyes held each other for a moment. Then Ciel turned and clawed his way to the other edge of the mattress.

Before he could reach his goal, he was grabbed around the waist, slender fingers digging into his hips, and roughly pulled back across the sheets. He could feel Sebastian’s knee pressing down into the small of his back.

“NO!” he shouted, struggling and raking his nails across the sheets, trying to climb forward by gripping portions and pulling. The weight on him prevented him from moving, however. He was trapped. “Sebastian, I order you to let me go!”

He heard his butler sigh. “How many times must I tell you?” Those hands pinned Ciel’s wrists to the bed as he leaned over the boy. “Your orders do not work at night.”

“SEBASTIAN!” Ciel screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: (deleted previous sentences because they were irrelevant) This is probably the lightest this fic will get. That’s right, it only gets darker and goes downhill from here. Fangirls, beware, because it will NOT have the ending you expect nor want. 
> 
> A note: mental torture will be a recurring theme for this story, coupled with the physical and sexual abuse. Because if you’re honest with yourself, the pain of having your mind break down is the worst. A body can heal, but once lost, the mind is gone forever.


	2. Bruises and Bite Marks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Nyah~  
> Sebastian: Kitty!  
> Ciel: RUN AWAYYYYYYYY  
> Sebastian: Get back here!
> 
> Pretty much sums up why I don’t own Kuroshitsuji or the song for this chapter title, which is by Good with Grenades.
> 
> Warning: Mentions of and attempted rape, abuse, self-harm, and bondage. Yaoi, pedophilia.
> 
> Again, thanks to Petra Jade for beta reading!

He was aware of the pain before he was aware of waking. Every breath he took was a stab, every wince making him groan. He could barely move his arms, they felt like broken lead. Was he broken? He thought something was wrong, didn’t feel quite right. Did Sebastian go too far?

When the sun hit his face he groaned louder, hiding. So bright. Too bright. Even the darkness was painful to his eyes. He heard Sebastian move across the room and clutched his marked eye. It stung, pulsating beneath his lids. He wanted to scream, but nothing came out.

“I have your tea, young master.”

Ciel wanted to puke. He couldn’t stand anything in his stomach today. He slowly shook his head, still clutching the sheets and hiding his face.

“No tea this morning? Alright, though I _did_ go through the trouble of making your favorite.”

Tears pooled on his pillow. He could do nothing to please Sebastian or stop him from those horrifying nights. He rolled over, wincing, and tried to sit up. His arms could not support his weight. He was still so tired…so weak.

“Honestly young master, it’s like you’re not even trying anymore.”

Ciel squeezed his eyes shut, trying to find the least painful position to lay in. But no matter how he lay, he could still feel Sebastian deep inside him. He gave up and opened one eye, reaching out for the tea.

“Change your mind?” Sebastian sighed. “How irritating.”

He was doing this on purpose, trying to see how Ciel would react. The boy let out a small shriek and let his arm fall, sobbing. He wanted to stay in bed all day. He couldn’t be strong, and he didn’t want anyone to see him like this.

Sebastian smiled at his young master’s attempts. This was all a game, but one in which Ciel would lose. It would be a beautiful loss. He wanted to keep up the torment, but he knew if he pushed too far his master would break easily. It was not time yet, he wanted to prolong the moment as long as he could. He wanted to watch the agonizing fall from innocent to tainted, he wanted to hear Ciel’s groans turn to pleas for mercy, he wanted to feel the boy beneath him give up.

He scooped the boy up into his arms, who lay limp, and set him on the bed. Ciel slumped over, and Sebastian had to hold him up with one hand as he dressed him with the other. His pale skin was marred with lovely bruises and bite marks, his own personal branding. Sebastian leaned forward, tempted to kiss the wounds, but Ciel would be confused if he did. That would also come later…

When he was done, he lifted his young master’s chin. The contract mark was bright, blinding, and he knew it was hurting the boy. His own hand was stinging with the mark. Frowning, he realized he hurt the boy more than necessary. Sighing, he scooped Ciel up again and carried him to the dining hall. The servants were busy making a mess of the mansion, but he would not be able to hide this behavior from them all day.

“Time to begin the day, young master. Breakfast consists of strawberry pastries draped in chocolate. Does that sound delicious?”

Ciel stirred, but slowly shook his head, lightly clutching his stomach. “N-not…hungry…”

Sebastian frowned. Ciel wasn’t trying at all. Slamming his hands down on the table, he finally got the little Earl’s full attention. Eyes widened and a gasp escaped through thin lips as the boy leaned back, clutching the chair.

“You should eat something to replenish your strength.” He stated. He hoped the reminder to stay strong would resound in the Earl’s head.

Ciel nearly had a heart attack when Sebastian pounded the table. Now fully awake, he took his butler’s words to heart and reached for a pastry. If he was to endure these nights, he would have to also endure the days.

As the food helped him gain a semblance of strength, his mind whirled with ideas. He could not remain oblivious to Sebastian’s intentions any longer; he had to act. If only he knew what to do first.

“What is the schedule for today, Sebastian?” he asked when he was full.

“You have a meeting with the Funtom Board of Directors, then your lessons.”

Ciel looked puzzled. “Is that all?” he asked.

“Yes, there is nothing else planned for the day.” Sebastian replied, wondering what his young master could be thinking now.

Ciel thought over his ideas. “And tomorrow?” he asked slowly.

“There is a ball tomorrow, with Lady Elizabeth in attendance. I believe Prince Soma was also invited.” His butler answered, narrowing his eyes. Normally the Earl was not very concerned with his schedule.

Ciel continued thinking, then nodded. “Thank you, that will be all.”

To think pastries could fully restore his young master to his proper self intrigued Sebastian. Just a little bit of strawberry and chocolate could have that effect…

Ciel knew what he was going to do. If he failed, there were always other options. He wondered if Sebastian would catch on, so decided not to think about it further until the time was right.

* * *

During the meeting with the Funtom Company, Ciel attempted to dedicate his whole self. He hoped he was acting normal, balancing interest and control at the same time. He felt so different, as if everyone could see the marks, as if those marks were changing him.

“So what do you think, Earl Phantomhive? As head of the company, you have the final say to any new products and changes we make as a whole.” A member of the board told him after they gave their recommendations for the next launch of products.

Ciel looked over the plans and thought over what they said. They wanted to hold a few benefits in order to appeal to the public and raise awareness of the company. They were also proposing extensions of the company overseas. “I like where the company is headed.” He stated. Looking over the new line of children’s toys fondly, he almost wished he was still young enough to enjoy such simple pleasures. “I believe the children of England, as well as across the world, will enjoy these new toys. Publicity for the company is also of use, especially if timed around the next launch.”

He heard murmurs and realized they were surprised at his sincerity and praise. But he could not act cruel, not when he knew what true cruelty felt like…tasted like…looked like. His eyed slid over to Sebastian, who gave an approving glance. Feeling rejuvenated, he turned back to the board and smiled.

“Thank you for your hard work and efforts, everyone.” He said, tilting his head while smiling.

The smile was infectious, spreading across their faces as they clapped and thanked him as well. Clearly they liked it when he smiled. Even Sebastian was pleased.

“That was a stunning performance, young master.” The demon whispered when everyone began filing out of the meeting room. Ciel bowed his head slightly to them, shaking their hands and smiling. He had to put on a show to hide his true feelings.

“You said to replenish my strength, did you not?” Ciel replied.

“I never thought you would listen to something I said.”

“In truth, I take everything you say to heart.”

His words caught Sebastian off-guard, as they should. Without waiting for a response, he walked off to speak with a few members of the board who asked for further input and small talk.

“How are you and Lady Elizabeth doing, if you mind me asking?” an older gentleman asked cheerily.

Ciel blinked. “We’re doing well, thank you for inquiring.”

“You know, we should make some dolls to commemorate the two of you, how does that sound?” another gentleman suggested.

“That sounds lovely, I am sure Elizabeth would be overjoyed to be the subject of one of our toys.”

“Marvelous! I’ll begin working on the designs and present them at the next meeting then.”

Ciel nodded, still smiling. He waved as they departed, feeling some weight lift from his shoulders. He was satisfied with the results of the meeting and his actions. He truly felt the company was heading in the right direction. They hardly needed him anymore…

“You are smiling rather much today. It seems a bit…unusual. Did you not tell me you forgot how to smile?” Sebastian said once they were alone.

“I have suddenly remembered how. Is it time for the lessons?” Ciel replied, ignoring the taunt.

Sebastian checked his watch. “Yes, I believe it is.” He lead the way to the next room where a tutor was waiting, watching Ciel greet the tutor and begin the lesson. Something was different…

For the first time, Ciel wanted the day to hurry by. He wanted to enact his plan to finally be free of Sebastian, one way or the other, and get it over with. He was nervous, unsure, which made him feel giddy and was probably the reason he was acting unlike his normal self. He was excited yet dreaded failure, speaking quickly while hastily going through his lessons.

“You have a lot of energy today, Ciel.” The tutor remarked when they were done. “It’s nice to see.” He said with a smile.

“It feels nice as well.” Ciel replied. It was mostly true, although it really was due to his next move in the game of chess he was playing with Sebastian. He was the king. Sebastian was only a pawn, a knight when necessary but a pawn nonetheless. The king would be triumphant, there would be no checkmate on him. He wore a crown of obsidian.

* * *

Finally the time had come to make his move, to place himself out of danger on the chessboard of life. At this point, it was his only option if he ever wanted it to stop. But first, he had to move his knight.

“Sebastian.” He said, right after dinner.

“Yes?”

“I need you to do something for me.”

Sebastian knew Ciel would try something, probably another delay to the night’s activities. “What is it, my lord?”

“I need you to begin the preparations for the first Funtom Company Benefit. We need a suitable venue and entertainment, as well as see to invitations to the event.” Ciel commanded.

Sebastian bowed. “As you wish, my lord.” He stated and began to leave.

“Also, those documents I was looking over earlier spoke of another crime spreading across London. It appears a number of young men and women have been disappearing. The police believe they are being kidnapped, but they have not turned up anywhere, so are presumed dead. I want you to investigate the disappearances and see what you can find out.”

“But why would you concern yourself with this matter without the Queen ordering you to?” Sebastian asked.

Ciel let his eyes harden as he looked at his butler. “Because it is only a matter of time before the Queen asks her loyal Guard Dog to determine the cause and arrest the criminal. I want to be a step ahead so the case can be solved quickly. Besides, the victims are rather young, some around my own age. If I am to be a target, is it not your duty to protect me?”

There was silence for a moment and he could feel the tension building again. He did not back down or waver in his command. Sebastian was still his butler, and they both knew the contract was still whole, so there was no reason to disobey this order. Sebastian glared slightly, but then bowed low, dropping to one knee.

“Yes, my lord.” He purred. Upon standing he remarked, “It should not take me long to attend to both of those matters.”

Ciel bit his tongue before he could say not to rush. He could not give himself away now that he was so close. The stack of orders this late in the day was already a dead giveaway to having some plan, if not an indication to delay. Sebastian would know his master was simply trying to stall, but he did not need to know anything else.

“Besides,” Sebastian added as he walked out. “We would not want the young master to be late to bed.”

Ciel glared after him, clenching his fist. He had little time to put his plan into action, especially if Sebastian was going to hurry—which, truthfully, it would not take him very long to get everything done.

Once he knew his butler was gone, Ciel checked to make sure the servants were busy as well. Then he walked out to the garden and stared up at the moon. His legs twitched, ready. The night air was cool but not icy, providing a nice breeze. He took a few steps forward, then began to walk quickly, looking around to make sure no one was watching. Of course, Sebastian’s eyes could probably find him from anywhere, but he hoped his butler already left to fulfill his duties.

He began to run, accepting the flight response as his heart pounded. If he could just get away, if his drastic actions could tell Sebastian to stop somehow, if the demon knew how much it hurt and what it was driving him to…maybe, just maybe…

His throat was burning and he tried to keep control of his breathing. The cool air was clawing at his throat whenever he sucked in a breath, but he couldn’t stop now. His legs burned, but he pushed harder. He stumbled over rocks and roots, brushing aside tree branches and bushes. If he tried to ready a horse it would take too long and Sebastian would know what he was up to. He wished he would have taken his coat, but that would also take time to find. This was the only way.

Run, far away, until his body could no longer keep up with his racing heart and collapsed. Run, as fast as he could to cover a large enough distance. He knew Sebastian would find him, as always, but he hoped the message would be clear.

His smile, his kind words, his energy throughout the day—those were his goodbyes. Sayonara.

Because no matter how this night ended, he would be gone.

“I had a feeling you would try something tonight, and your actions throughout the day only furthered my suspicions.” He heard a cold voice echo among the trees.

At this point his breathing was rough and fast. He clutched his throat and began coughing. He couldn’t keep running, he paused and stumbled around, eventually falling to his knees. He was still coughing, unable to draw breath into his hoarse lungs. No, this couldn’t be happening right now. He tried to get up, but his limbs refused. His chest ached as he heaved, hacking up saliva. Collapsing, he thought maybe this was the end he was reaching for.

“Young master!” Sebastian exclaimed, dropping from a tree next to him. Ciel pushed himself too hard, his body was weak and tried, frail and fragile. He could feel his mark burning. This was his fault.

Ciel was having an asthma attack. (1)

Sebastian picked him up, trying to calm the breathing, but the boy only struggled, making it worse. “Stop fighting and just calm down, damn you!” he snarled. His meal was dying, the precious soul not yet ripe enough. He would _not_ allow his dinner to be spoiled by this brat. “Was this your plan all along, to die in my arms like this?”

Ciel shook his head, still coughing. He looked frightened yet resilient. Sebastian sighed and picked him up, racing back to the mansion. He laid him in the bed and searched for medicine, his eyes glowing crimson. He could hear the coughs grow faint, but it was not a good sign. His master was losing the fight, but it was not time yet.

He administered the medicine and smoothed Ciel’s hair back, sitting on the edge of the bed. Ciel’s eyes fluttered, his movements slowing and finally becoming still. He was wheezing, but able to breathe. Sebastian sighed and restrained himself from strangling his young master due to his actions.

Ciel was trying to hold on to consciousness. He wasn’t sure if this plan worked or if he needed to go further. He didn’t actually intend to have an asthma attack and die, he merely hoped Sebastian would take his running away as a sign to hold back or stop. He knew he made his demon butler angry, and didn’t know what torture would come next.

“You should not have done that, young master.” The growl came. Ciel focused on Sebastian’s face, measuring his expression. “You will have to be punished for making me chase after you.”

Ciel shook his head vigorously. This was not what he wanted. If only he could make the demon see, if only Sebastian could understand.

Sebastian opened the bedside drawer and Ciel tried to sit up. He was pushed down as rope was revealed. Tonight he fought back. He slapped Sebastian’s hands away and clawed at the mark, kicking at the demon. He curled his small hands into fists and struck as Sebastian leaned down. He heard a snarl as the demon turned away due to the hit and then reached inside his shirt.

When Sebastian turned back his eyes were blazing, but they stilled when he noticed the knife Ciel was holding to his own neck. They stared each other down, Ciel’s eyes hard and determined, his grip on the knife tightening as he pointed it at his throat.

“I’ll do it.” He said roughly, still breathing harshly. “I’ll take my life if you touch me like that again.”

Sebastian made sure his movements would not startle the boy into an accidental plunge into death. How did he not notice the knife hidden next to the boy’s ribs? He must have taken the silverware after dinner. He must have planned this whole thing: giving out a list of orders to keep him occupied, running away to prove a point, then if all else failed threatening his own life. It made Sebastian growl.

“I cannot allow you to do that. Self-harm is not tolerated under our contract.”

“But you can ignore the part about protecting me as long as you’re the one hurting me?” Ciel shouted in a raspy, enraged voice. His hand shook as he held the knife. He said his goodbyes. He was fully prepared to end it right here and now.

Sebastian moved quickly, swiping the knife from Ciel’s hand before he even noticed. However, he was not quick enough to silence his master. As his hands began wrapping around the slender throat, Ciel cried out another demand.

“Then I order you to kill me and devour my soul!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Author’s Note: Two, count them, TWO attempts to stop the abuse. Check them off your mental list and prepare for more in the next chapter. Will Sebastian ever stop? Will Ciel find a way to end the torture? What lengths will they both go to in order to achieve their goals? Find out as the story continues…
> 
> Any questions, comments, ideas, etc are welcome. 
> 
> (1) Oh, and as for setting we can assume the Circus Arc has already taken place, even though I’m in the second season of the anime, so Sebastian knows about the asthma and is prepared. Peace-


	3. Love the Way You Lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Sebastian would be his true sociopathic self if I owned Kuroshitsuji…although that’s probably a good thing I don’t because I am such a huge CielxSebastian fangirl…Also, the chapter title song is by Eminem featuring Rihanna.
> 
> Warning: Rape, bondage, abuse. All of this is yaoi-based, with pedophilia. 
> 
> Definitely a big thank-you to Petra Jade, my Yaoi Twin Wifey, for bearing with this chapter.

_“Then I order you to kill me and devour my soul!”_

Sebastian once again stilled, then let out a soft chuckle. “Of course I will…” he said and leaned in. Ciel didn’t struggle, allowing himself to be pushed lightly down on the bed. He didn’t notice the rope Sebastian held in his other hand, though. With his lips at Ciel’s ear, he whispered, “…when our contract is fulfilled.”

He grabbed a slender wrist and again wrapped the rope around.

“No!” Ciel shouted, struggling again.

Sebastian covered his mouth. “No more orders from you tonight, young master.”

Ciel kicked him, connecting with the demon’s thigh. It only made Sebastian angrier. His next kick aimed for the demon’s groin, which missed when it was pinned down by another leg. He screamed against Sebastian’s hand, cries muffled by the glove. The rope scratched his skin as it was tightened, then attached to the bed. Ciel’s tiny fist beat against Sebastian’s chest when he began tying the other wrist. He was writhing, trying to get his legs out from under the butler in order to keep kicking or escape.

“Must I tie up your legs as well?”

The boy stilled for a moment, then Sebastian felt sharp teeth sink into his hand, cutting through his glove. He ripped his hand out of Ciel’s mouth, watching his head twist, then clutched his throat. Ciel choked, trying to drag in breaths of air, and continued trying to squirm out of the demon’s grip.

It was Madam Red all over again. It was his captors after the death of his parents, their depravations and sacrifice ritual. He could taste blood, could feel his limbs go numb and his vision blur. His wrists were secured to the bed, muscles stretched out painfully. He tried to cry out, but Sebastian’s hand around his throat squeezed too tightly for words to escape, much less screams of agony.

“Give up now or you’ll regret it in the morning. I admire your instinct to fight, but now is _not_ the time, Ciel Phantomhive.” Sebastian hissed.

The temptation to let it all go, to follow his body’s command and go flaccid and numb, allowing Sebastian to have his way, pushed on Ciel’s mind. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t lose this game, he couldn’t stop fighting. There was still a single thread to grasp, and he was still human. He willed his body to keep attacking, thrashing about despite the restraints and the heavy weight of Sebastian’s body on top of his.

Seeing that Sebastian was not about to stop, he did the only thing he could. He breathed in quickly, shallowly. Soon he was unable to draw air, due to the damage already done to his throat, the hand wrapped around it, and the previous attack. Sebastian immediately let go and watched as Ciel convulsed, coughing and shuddering. Blood dripped from his wrists where the rope cut deep, his skin raw and burning. Sebastian lifted some of his weight, allowing for better air flow, but the boy was still gasping. Sighing, he untied the young Earl and stepped away. Ciel curled into a ball, trying to steady his own breathing. He was still convulsing and shuddering, blood and mucus mixing on the sheets as he held himself together.

“You are most unruly, young master.” He said softly. He could do nothing with Ciel close to death’s door like this. He had a feeling Ciel was catching on to the loopholes of the contract, or at least would use this tactic again. He had to find a way to keep the brat from testing the boundaries, or else the fun would have to end. Pity, Sebastian enjoyed his nights with Ciel.

Ciel shook until his body was too weak to react anymore. Left in a daze, he drifted off into a deep sleep where the pain ebbed and flowed. His mind, overwrought with the emotional undertow of Sebastian’s merciless treatment, replayed visions of horror so visceral he didn’t realize it was only a nightmare.

_Crimson eyes flashing and fangs glinting in the candlelight. A steady pumping between his legs, pressure on his wrists._

_“Sssstooooop.” He moaned._

_“When I’m done,” was the reply._

_His hole tightened, instinctually trying to push the invasive force out by squeezing. It did not slow Sebastian down though, he only tore through, pushing harder and faster._

_“Do you prefer the heat of friction, young master? My, you_ do _like it rough, don’t you?” the demon taunted in his ear._

_“Noooooooo.”_

_“Yesssssss, my lord.”_

_He could feel himself being torn apart, could hear the slickness as Sebastian continued slamming into him. He knew what was being used as a lubricant by the smell: his own blood. He could taste tears as they flowed into his open mouth. An open mouth that let out a continuous scream of horror and desolation, a plea for an end to the torment, an unanswered question for this atrocity._

_He would have thrown up if he hadn’t already when it all began. His stomach was pressed into the mattress, diaphragm crushed. He had to bite his pillow when Sebastian hooked his clawed hands into his shoulder and hip, getting a better grip in order to increase the carnage. The demon was wreaking havoc on the boy’s poor body, still sore from the night before and no more loose than the first time._

_The stretching had to be the worst, feeling his muscles contract and pulsate angrily. The further Sebastian went in, the more Ciel cried out, feeling the thickened length push deeper inside him._

A piercing cry rang throughout the mansion, alerting Sebastian to Ciel’s awakening. Before the other servants could venture out to discover the noise, he rushed to his master’s room. He knew it was a nightmare, because he wasn’t screaming the demon’s name. Just screaming.

“I see you are awake. How are you feeling, still faint?” Sebastian asked casually as he approached the bed, the sheets twisted and dirty.

Ciel cried out again and scrambled away, still caught in the land between nightmare and reality, dreams and wakefulness. But for him they were the same thing, his memories were nightmares, his nightmares reality. It made no difference whether he was awake or sleeping, his body was still being ravaged.

“You must calm down, young master. Your throat is still damaged and you have not recovered from your recent asthma attacks.”

“G-get away from me!” his voice was ragged and hoarse, blood flying out of his mouth. He doubled over and coughed, blood spewing everywhere.

Sebastian sighed. “I will have to go easy on you for a while, it seems.” He muttered mostly to himself. Ciel was still wrapped up in his delusions to hear what he was saying anyway. “I must get these sheets clean as well.”

Having no other choice, the butler scooped up his master and walked toward the bathroom, ignoring the faint hits from the boy’s renewed struggle. Setting him down on the ground, he drew the bath water and tested the temperature. Ciel was still struggling, his weak arms lashing out at his midsection, while his legs flailed on the floor, adding bruises and scrapes to the back of his heels.

When the water was ready he lifted the sleep shirt and dumped Ciel into the tub, where he eventually stopped moving altogether. Like a puppet, he allowed his body to be moved wherever and however Sebastian wanted. The butler put his fingers lightly around his master’s throat and could feel the swelling inside. There were bruises all over his neck, mostly from his own doing, as well as a few pinpricks from the dinner knife Ciel tried to use to take his own life.

The demon in him admired the creative ways Ciel used to make him stop, from running away to threatening his own life, but the butler in him worried about his worsening condition due to the asthma. He wished he knew about that little fact from the beginning, so he could have time to counteract it whenever it came up. He didn’t mind the struggle, but his master only ended up hurting himself, which made Sebastian have to stop or else he would violate the contract. If Ciel caught onto this, their little game would begin to grow amusing…if not a bit tedious.

Why couldn’t the brat just take it? Of course, that wasn’t the point. Sebastian didn’t care so much about the pleasure of the body, but the pleasure of slowly breaking the soul inside down. His meal would be delicious, tainted and melting against his tongue, ready to give itself over, begging for release from the tortured body. That’s the way he liked them.

And for his little master, who played games with all those around him—always winning, always taking what he wanted—it was pure ecstasy to come out as the victor. Playing mind games with the king, taking that crown and twisting it until it bled, showing the master the _true_ master. Dominance and power. _That_ was what his little nighttime activities were all about. If Ciel didn’t already know, he would find out soon.

The water was soothing to Ciel’s aching bones, but it raked against his skin like sandpaper where he was wounded. He couldn’t move, his body shutting down to rid itself of the pain. Sebastian brushed his hands over the wounds, investigating them, before he began washing them clean. The water turned a hazy brown, blood and dirt mixing together and swirling around. It made Ciel sick again, but there was nothing in his stomach to bring up. He couldn’t gag either, or else the raw skin of his throat would rub together, creating friction and pain that stung when he took a breath of air.

But somehow he was able to endure the ministrations, come out of his dim mind and step back into the world of daylight and safety, where his butler was kind and gentle. He allowed himself to be lifted, not because he had no other choice, but because he did not want to attempt walking just yet.

Sebastian chose a suitable outfit for the day, deftly covering up every single wound and marking, but breathable so it wouldn’t rest uncomfortably against his skin. He even chose a ruffled neck cuff to hide the strangulations marks, yet it wasn’t restrictive. He really knew how to counteract his nightly tortures.

“Remember the ball is today. I can understand if you would rather not go, however.” Sebastian finally spoke up.

Ciel’s automatic thought was to agree—there was no way he could dance in this state, much less walk around—but he hesitated. He could not stay here to endure another night of suffering. He would rather exhaust himself at a ball, trying to keep up with his fiancé and the Indian Prince. Plus, he needed to see Elizabeth. He had to reassure himself that there was still good in the world, still a light within the darkness. Prince Soma could also lift his spirits, even though he was rather irritating. Perhaps he could even…

No. They must not know. No one must know what happened in his room at night, behind locked doors. No doubt the servants were already suspicious, and the humiliation he would feel if they found out the truth was too much to bear. His body already had to go through hell, but he would not let his name, his pride, or his title be dragged there as well.

Lifting his head to look into Sebastian’s eyes, he replied “No, I will go. It is my duty as Earl Phantomhive.” His voice was terrible though, barely recognizable to his own ears. He would not be able to talk much, at least until he was at the ball.

“Then I will cancel your studies for the day and allow you to rest, in order to prepare yourself for this evening. For breakfast I prepared porridge to soothe your throat, and you must drink plenty of liquids.”

“Why do you care so much during the day?” Ciel asked, unable to restrain himself any longer.

Sebastian placed a finger over his lips. “Shhh, do not speak or you will only continue to damage yourself. If Elizabeth heard you like this, what would she think? Prince Soma would be curious as well, and you know how he gets.”

Ciel vaguely wondered if that was a threat, but he was just thinking the same thing so simply nodded his acquiescence.

* * *

 

The day was uneventful, as Sebastian promised. Ciel mostly rested, lounging on the sofa in front of the fire, only waking to drink tea and eat lunch. His dreams were fitful, often making his body spasm. He knew Sebastian often checked up on him because at times the blanket would be covering him, and at other times he kicked it off during his sleep. But when he woke next, it would be covering him again.

He still had to look over a few documents, allowing his mind to work in the place of his body. Sebastian was able to gather evidence before stopping his escape attempt the night before, so he looked over the list of missing men and women, analyzing their connections and trying to determine the reason for their disappearances. His first thought was the slave trade, a topic he would have to take up with Lau sooner or later. The first disappearance was a few weeks ago, with steady kidnappings throughout the following weeks. Not many prominent or wealthy families were targeted, but there did not seem to be a lot in common with any of the people taken.

What were they being used for? More sacrifices for demons, or sold into slavery to other countries, or cut up and placed in meat pies at the local tavern? There was certainly a variety of flavors to choose from, but they were mostly young and healthy. Had to be the slave trade.

He could not concentrate long before he drifted off to sleep again, his body drained and desperately seeking to repair itself through rest and relaxation. He was grateful he did not have to exert himself too much, and began to regret all the energy and effort he put into his plans the day before. If he only conserved his strength, he would have been able to fight longer.

“Young master.” The voice echoed in his ears, morphing from a soft caress to a dark sneer. The voice repeated itself, each time twisting into something sinister before being harmonized with concern. It was dizzying, hearing two words change in pitch and tone so many times.

He awoke with a start, looking into Sebastian’s eyes. Seeing them normal, without the shadows of lingering madness, he relaxed.

“It is time to get ready for the ball.”

Ciel nodded and followed Sebastian to his wardrobe room. This outfit was the latest from Nina Hopkins, but was rather tight. He worried about her phase of putting him in slim clothing, remembering the feeling of wearing the corset and dress when going undercover to investigate the Viscount Druitt. He despised feeling restrained.

“You look stunning, young master.” Sebastian smiled as he made the final adjustments. Thankfully this outfit also came with a piece to cover the neck and did not expose any of the bruises, but it was still difficult to maneuver in. Ciel wasn’t sure how to feel about the compliment, and what it indicated about how Sebastian felt toward him.

Those acts were sexual, he knew that much and could identify lust. For some reason, however, he had a hard time believing Sebastian simply wanted his body to defile. He was made to be subservient, weak, and there was no affection he often heard or read about. This was not love or passion. Then what was it?

“Elizabeth will be rather taken with you when she sees you.” Sebastian added, still with that smile. The smile Ciel could not decipher. “Shall we?” he indicated.

Ciel could only nod. Sebastian directed him to the carriage and they rode in silence to the ball. Ciel had his cane for support, which he idly tapped on the floor of the carriage as he stared out of the window. He didn’t want to look at Sebastian, didn’t want to see his smile or that look in his eyes. He didn’t want to be anywhere near his demon butler.

Unfortunately, he was to accompany him to and from the ball. He would be there, watching and waiting, probably licking his lips in anticipation. Ciel decided to try to ignore him as best he could and focus on Elizabeth. He would even allow Soma to bother him if it meant staying away.

“We’re here.”

Ciel looked over as Sebastian opened the door, getting out and extending his hand to lead him down the steps. Once inside his eyes searched for Elizabeth.

“Ah, the little Earl has arrived!” Prince Soma’s voice rang in his ears, close to him. Ciel looked over to see the Indian man dressed in extravagant clothing, no doubt from his homeland, accompanied by Agni.

He couldn’t help but feel relieved, although a bit annoyed at finding him first. Nonetheless, he let a small smile grace his features. “Hello Soma, it seems your presence in town has been noticed and appreciated lately.” he spoke softly, but his voice was still rough.

“Is that any way to greet your big brother? After so long from seeing each other, I deserve a hug at least, right?” the older boy asked and commenced in embracing him.

Ciel flinched at the touch, feeling a jolt of pain as Soma squeezed him. Agni noticed this and put a hand on his master’s shoulder.

“My Prince, you are squeezing him too hard. His small body cannot handle your strength.”

“Oh dear, sorry about that little Earl.”

“Yes, well, it’s…good to see you.” Ciel bit out. He could feel Sebastian’s eyes on him and wanted to get away, lose himself in the crowd. “How about we get something to drink? I am rather thirsty.” It was true, and his butler _did_ say to drink plenty of liquids.

“Of course! They have a small buffet set up with all this wonderful food, though not as good as my homeland’s, haha!” Soma replied and grabbed his wrist, dragging him along.

Ciel flinched again. “I can walk on my own, no need to rip my arm off!”

Soma let go, giving a sheepish yet unapologetic grin. “Oops, I keep forgetting how frail you are.”

Ciel tugged at his sleeve, wishing it were longer to cover up the rope burns on his skin. Sebastian wrapped them to staunch the bleeding and allow them to heal without getting infected, but he was so self-conscious about every wound, he felt naked before them.

“Is something wrong?” Agni asked. Soma tilted his head, looking curiously at him.

“N-no, you’re right is all, I’m…fragile.” He hated admitting it. Hated making himself weak in order to cover up Sebastian’s behavior. Hated the entire affair.

“Well, let’s get that drink.” Prince Soma said and kept walking. Ciel followed, using his cane more heavily than usual. He saw Agni’s eyes glance over at him consistently, but ignored it. Nobody could know.

“Cieeeeeel!” a girl’s voice cried out. He breathed a sigh of relief, breaking into a real—though faint—smile, as he saw Elizabeth rush toward him. In order to avoid a collision he held his arms out and braced himself. She leapt into him, making him grunt slightly and take a step backward. “I’m so glad you’re here!” she squealed in his ear.

“You’re excited as ever, Lizzie.” He breathed.

She let go and leaned back, her eyes shining as she looked at him. “You said my name, you called me Lizzie!” she squeaked again.

Ciel ducked his head. “I’m just happy to see you too.” He confessed. He was truly happy for once to see her, not annoyed at her joyful exuberance, but instead bathing in it. Her warmth and radiance soothed the sores all over his body and allowed him to completely relax, forgetting about the demon butler in the background.

“Aww, you too are so cute together.” Soma said, patting his head.

He gritted his teeth but let it pass. Elizabeth clung to him, giggling and thanking the prince.

“You are indeed a lovely couple, as if the gods themselves blessed your union.” Agni added with a smile.

Their happiness invaded him, washing him cleaner than any bath Sebastian could give. He was unable to turn a sour mood around them, but instead allowed them to grant him a small amount of happiness. He needed this.

“Oh Ciel, let’s dance!” Elizabeth begged, tugging him toward the dance floor.

“One moment, I want to finish my drink.” He replied, taking a sip even though he would rather gulp the whole glass down. It was cool against the back of his throat, tickling as it ran down.

“You can finish your drink later, go dance with the girl!” Soma exclaimed, snatching the drink from his hand and pushing him forward.

He was unable to put up much resistance as Elizabeth took his hand and pulled him after her. They joined the dance, his cane left behind, and he had to rely on her to support him as they swung around. His steps were a bit sloppy, but he soon matched the rhythm of the music and was able to steady himself. Watching the other dancers, he assured himself of his proficiency with the movements.

“This is so nice.” Elizabeth sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. Their fingers were entwined, his other hand around her waist. He wanted to lean more into her, just to take some weight off of his legs, but that would have been improper.

“Yes, it is.” He whispered. His voice was still strained and he hoped she wouldn’t notice. Closing his eyes, he pretended they were the only ones in the room. His illusion was dashed, however, when he opened them at the end of the song to look straight at Sebastian, who was staring back at him. He quickly averted his eyes back to Lizzie, giving her a small smile.

“You’ve been ever so kind tonight, Ciel. Are you in a good mood?” she asked.

He hesitated before replying, “Now that I am with you.”

She squealed and hugged him tight. He sucked in a breath of air, clenching her dress but trying not to draw attention to his pain. His legs were starting to wobble and he could feel exhaustion clawing at him.

“Let’s take a break from dancing for a moment.” He suggested, breathless.

She pouted but followed when he gently lead her to a table and sat down. Prince Soma was there, handing him back his drink and cane with a smile.

“You dance so well together too, truly a good match.”

“Thank you! You have such nice friends, Ciel.” Elizabeth replied as Ciel took a long sip.

“No, call me your big brother, since you are my sister!” Soma replied.

Elizabeth giggled at the young man’s strangeness. The two struck up a conversation with Ciel barely listening, his eyes blinking slowly. He continued sipping his drink, trying to regain his breath. He would have to retire soon, though he tried to make his strength last.

“You appear to be tired, Earl, have you been busy today?” Agni asked.

Ciel shook his head. “Dancing takes a toll on me, which is why I rarely do it.” Another truth, although it was not the whole reason for his fatigue. He knew he was acting unusual, kinder than normal and ridiculously honest. Soon he would return to normal…if he could.

Agni looked like he wanted to say more, but merely smiled. “Sometimes I forget how young you really are. You are more mature than my master, yet are only a child. Oh, I do not mean to offend, it is just…I wish Prince Soma can be like you one day, wise and responsible. On the other hand, I like to see you happy like this instead of always looking so grim.”

Ciel’s expression softened. He turned to watch Elizabeth and Soma chatting, then looked at the crowd of nobles gathered. Leaning against the wall was Sebastian, keeping his eye on the young master. Sebastian gave a short nod, his signal that time was up. Of course he could tell how tired Ciel was, but the boy wanted to linger a little longer.

“Thank you Agni, I appreciate it.” He whispered.

“Ciel, you have to visit me more often, promise?” Lizzie asked, grasping his hand. “We hardly ever get to see each other lately except at parties like this, you’re always so busy!”

“I’m sorry Elizabeth. I will try to make more time in my schedule.” He replied.

“Young master? We should begin heading home now, it is getting late.” Sebastian was suddenly at his side, speaking softly.

He held back a rebuttal, nodding. Elizabeth’s maid, Paula, also appeared. Elizabeth looked up at her and also nodded.

“We’ll be leaving as well. It was wonderful seeing you again Ciel, and I had a lovely time dancing. Remember to visit soon!” she told him, giving him a hug before following her servant out.

“Time for little kiddies to go to bed, see you again sometime Earl!” Soma added, rubbing Ciel’s head to ruffle his hair.

Ciel swatted his hand away but wasn’t as annoyed as usual. “I suppose you’ll stay up all night then?” he replied.

“But of course! I am the life of the party after all.” The prince replied.

“Honestly Prince Soma, you should get some rest too.” Agni told his friend. The two commenced in a light-hearted argument as Ciel and Sebastian left.

When he sat down in the carriage he allowed himself to relax, falling into a comfortable position with his head against the back of the seat. Letting out a deep sigh, slumber soon overtook him. Only a few minutes after the carriage began its journey, he was asleep.

Sebastian watched as his young master’s head slumped to the side, letting a small smile curve his lips. When they got back to the manor he had to carry him out and up to his room. Undressing and putting a clean night shirt over him, he tucked Ciel into bed and leaned down. For once the young Earl looked peaceful in sleep, but the demon knew dreams would capture him, devouring him in their darkness.

“Goodnight, young master.” He whispered, laying a kiss on his forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Ciel is OOC. Major OOC, but he’ll do that from time to time, wavering between normal and something other than the usual. It’s hard to maintain yourself when your mind is being ripped to shreds, ya know? Also, gah on this chapter being so weird: smutty and twisted one minute, light and fluffy the next. I have problems. Any questions, comments, etc. are appreciated!


	4. Snow White Queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji nor the song by Evanescence. 
> 
> Warning: Yaoi, pedophilia. Mentions of rape and abuse.
> 
> Thanks to Petra Jade for continuing to beta read this for me. Love you waifu!

For once Ciel awoke fully rested. He thought it odd and tried to remember how the night ended, retracing his memories from darkness to the last events of the day. He recalled the ball, dancing with Elizabeth, speaking with Prince Soma and Agni, and trying to avoid Sebastian. The rest was hazy and distant, but he did not feel sore from being raped or abused during the night as he usually did.

His legs and feet were aching, however, from dancing so long on weak limbs. His throat was also still scratchy and felt dry. He put a hand to his neck and pressed lightly with his fingers, wincing at the small touch.

“You should learn not to scream so much, young master.” Sebastian’s voice had Ciel jumping up, his heart seizing for a moment. The butler put on a smile and bowed. “I apologize for startling you. Would you like some tea?”

Ciel nodded, recovering from his shock, and accepted the warm cup from his butler. Sebastian kept smiling, standing at attention as Ciel sipped. There was something strange…something missing. The Earl gave him a quizzical look, hoping to convey his words through body language so he wouldn’t have to strain his voice too much.

“You fell asleep in the carriage on the way home. You were fatigued from the dancing and excitement, so I allowed you to sleep peacefully. Plus, you were still weak from recent events, so I did not feel the need to press.” Sebastian explained with a slight shrug.

Ciel held back his next question, but it was there in his eyes. _What about tonight? Will you bring me to the brink of death only to allow me a small respite, then plunge me into darkness once again?_

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow. “Let’s get you dressed for the day, young master.”

The boy frowned but did not stop his butler from pulling on a fresh shirt over his body. He looked down at himself, analyzing the bruises and marks. Some were beginning to fade, turning from purple to yellow, blending into his skin. He wondered if they would ever stay that way, if his body would once again be whole. Lifting his arm to look at the brand on his back, he realized his body could never return to its once-pristine form.

He felt Sebastian’s eyes on him and shivered involuntarily. Buttons were fastened all the way and a jacket was wrapped around his shoulders. Unable to look the demon in the eye, he simply nodded and accepted his cane.

* * *

For some reason, the Earl of Phantomhive did not feel grounded to his base self. His head whirled, and emotions began overwhelming him to the point where he did not feel at all like himself. He had the insatiable urge to snap at the first thing that went wrong, and yet another urge to hide from his butler just to feel a sense of peace for once. The two conflicting emotions went to war within him, pulling him one way and then the other.

He noticed this at a distance when Mey-rin interrupted his violin lesson to dust the bookshelf, sending the specks in his direction and aggravating his still recovering lungs. Anger seized him in that moment, overpowering his better senses and self-control.

“What have I told you about dusting around me?” he yelled in a raspy tone, coughing. “Let alone…walking in during a lesson. Maids are supposed to…remain unseen, how can you be so…foolish!” He didn’t understand why she would possibly deem her actions as appropriate. If his voice wasn’t so damaged, he would have told her just exactly how he felt about her: useless, clumsy, ignorant, obnoxious—

She quivered, unsettled by hearing him speak that way to her. It was true she was not perfect, at least not like Sebastian, and it was true she tended to mess up her duties often, but the young master _never_ scolded her. She bowed multiple times, apologizing while running out of the room—duster and all—and almost tripped. When she stopped running she leaned up against the wall, tears streaming down her eyes.

She lightly touched her glasses, thinking of the moment the young master bequeathed them to her. She remembered the day Sebastian found her and brought her to the mansion. She remembered thinking this boy, this Earl of Phantomhive, was so small and young. But there was a strength in his eyes which she admired, a seriousness she found inspiring, endearing qualities which made up for his often dismal temperament. But this? This was not the Earl of Phantomhive.

* * *

After his outburst, Ciel felt flustered. What had come over him, to speak that way to a servant? Were they not people, important people he entrusted his very life and safety to? He apologized to his instructor, partly for his maid’s misstep but also for his own irrational behavior. The rest of the lesson went poorly, as his mind did not let go of his reaction to her. Plans of how to rectify his ill treatment kept springing up, mingling with the music notes and creating a haunting, off-key melody. They both gave up after a few more tries, and Ciel took a moment to gather himself together.

This war inside him, the need to grasp power, the yearning for control over his life, was overwhelming. Guilt mingled with self-righteousness as he grappled through his behavior and hers. On one hand he had a right to be angry, but on the other…it was not what he would normally do.

He noticed it again when he was outside, having his tea in the garden. Finny was working, trying to transplant some trees. With his strength, he was able to lift an entire tree, roots and all, out of the ground. However, he was also able to chuck a tree hundreds of feet away if he wasn’t careful. After a few ill-fated attempts to move the tree, Ciel had enough. That growing, gnawing rage clawed its way out of the cage he managed to stuff it in after his encounter with Mey-rin. With a rush of dominance, he found himself yelling again.

“Finny, why aren’t you able to control your strength by now? I swear you servants are all worthless!” he exclaimed, slamming his cup down and storming back inside. He couldn’t sit by any longer and watch his yard being destroyed, but he also wanted to reign in the seething hatred he felt. It was reckless, immature…but it felt so good after being subjected to subservience for so long.

Sebastian watched his young master’s reaction, a small smile on his lips. Finny was frozen, wide-eyed. His feeble heart broke to hear the master yelling at him, especially about his strength. Before Sebastian could stop him, he was running into the woods, balling like a newborn babe. With a finger to his chin, the demon butler contemplated this new development in Ciel’s behavior.

* * *

As Ciel stormed down the hall to his study, he bumped into Mey-rin.

“Oh young master I’m so sorry! Are you alright? Please don’t be angry with me young master, I didn’t mean it!” she cried, checking him over.

He tugged his arm out of her grip, glaring as fury flared up again. Seeing her frightened look, flashes of his nightmares returned. A moment of weakness had him stumbling forward, clutching his head, as the anger fell away. Mey-rin caught him. He clung to her, feeling tears begin to form.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier…I…I’m not myself today.” He whispered, trying to hold the tears in.

Mey-rin held him close, smoothing back his hair. “There, there young master. No need to apologize to me. Is everything…is everything okay?” she asked, concerned. There was something she wanted to ask, something on the tip of her tongue, but she didn’t let it loose.

Ciel looked up at her, wondering what she would say if she really knew the monstrosities committed in the manor at night, what her beloved Sebastian was really like…the monster he truly was.

No. No one could know. Never.

He wiped his tears and stood, steady now with his conviction. He nodded at her. “Be more careful next time, Mey-rin. Carry on with your duties.” He said softly and walked on.

* * *

Sitting at his desk, he sighed and laid his head down, trying to regain control of himself. He couldn’t let Sebastian’s actions get to him, couldn’t let the demon in his head. This was still his game, and he was still the King. If a pawn could control the board, mayhem would break loose. There needed to be order, there needed to be…

_…what was that racket?_ Ciel lifted his head, looking out of the window to see Finny sitting on the ground, sobbing. Shaking his head, he regretted his outburst earlier. His servants were sometimes inept and oblivious of their roles, but they were chosen for their talents and ability to keep the mansion—and its inhabitants—safe. He took them from horrible situations and placed them in a home where they could be free and live as normal human beings. Never once had he been this cruel to them, even if he felt like it. He was truly beginning to lose himself and it frightened him more than anything Sebastian could do to him at night.

Standing, he went toward the window to watch Finny. He knew the boy’s history, and his words were the cruelest he could ever say to the kid. Another wave of guilt enveloped him, clutching tightly just like Mey-rin’s comforting grip. Opening the window, he leaned over the sill and called out to him faintly. “Hey, Finny!” After a few rasping tries the boy looked toward the window to see Ciel waving to him from it.

The gardener jumped up, startled and still sobbing. “Young master! I’m s-sorry for earlier. I won’t do it again! Please don’t fire me, don’t take me back to that place, please don’t!” the young boy pleaded.

“Don’t worry Finny. Please come up here so we can talk.” Ciel replied. It hurt him to keep yelling out of the window, and he didn’t want Sebastian to overhear him apologizing to a servant. That butler didn’t need more of an ego trip at his expense.

As Finny nodded and ran inside the manor, Ciel vaguely wondered what his behavior meant. It could be that he was taking out his frustrations on the servants because they were lower than him in station. Being tormented by his butler and harassing the other servants made him feel…powerful again. But it was a hollow strength, not something he was proud of. A man who mistreated his servants was not an honest man, nor a man worthy of his title. He could never stoop so low as to become a joke among nobles, just another aristocrat who lived off his status and looked down on all others.

Finny entered the room, panting and sweating. Ciel beckoned him to sit and also took his place behind the desk. The blond looked nervous and was still crying slightly, his eyes puffy and red, snot dripping from his nose. Ciel sighed and pulled out his handkerchief.

“Here, wipe your face.” He said calmly, handing it to his gardener.

Finny wiped his face, blowing his nose and drying his tears. He offered to return it but Ciel grimaced, waving it toward him. Then he sat back and sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.

“Sir…is something wrong?”

That was the second time a servant asked him a question like that. If it was that obvious, why bother hiding it? He needed help, he needed a way out, but would confiding in a servant really provide him with what he needed? Someone to listen, someone to confide in, was tempting. But that information was private and sacred to him. It was between himself and Sebastian. Still, if someone knew…

“I have been…going through some things, lately.” He began, propping his elbows on the desk and placing his chin on his knuckles. He couldn’t look Finny in the eye, not yet.

The gardener looked surprised but willing to listen, eyes wide and innocent. But Ciel knew the history behind those eyes, the torment the boy went through. It was not the same kind of pain Ciel went through, but he could understand the mental and physical pain of being helpless, chained down, forced to undergo humiliations and torture for others’ sick pleasure. And for that, Ciel could trust him.

* * *

“Um, S-Sebastian…can I ask you somefing?” Mey-rin asked as she approached the head butler.

Sebastian turned to her, knowing she would ask about Ciel’s behavior earlier. He was honestly surprised how much the boy let his emotions take over. He knew he was inside the earl’s head now, pulling at the strings. “Make it quick, we have a busy schedule for today.” He replied tersely.

“The young master…” she began, hesitating.

“Yes? What about him?”

“He screams. At night. I hear him when I’m getting ready for bed.”

Sebastian held back a surprised expression. It was only a matter of time, after all, before the servants began asking these kinds of questions. “Yes, the young master has been receiving horrific nightmares lately. I always try to calm him down but…” he sighed, shrugging. “There is not much I can do for him.”

He was being truthful. It was a half-truth, because he did not add that during other times the young master was screaming because of the pain he was subjected to, but it was still the truth. He tried multiple times to get Ciel to stop screaming, even resorted to using a gag. But his mouth was so small, his jaw was forced too wide and the pain only increased. Plus, he wouldn’t want to ruin those perfect teeth of his—at least not with a gag. Sweets, on the other hand…

“Nightmares?” she asked, looking confused. “But it’s been ages since he’s had a nightmare. I thought…well, I thought he was okay now.”

“Something must have happened recently to re-awaken those memories. But you shouldn’t worry too much, he’s strong and will carry on.”

Mey-rin nodded but still looked unsatisfied. She thanked the butler and walked away, thinking of her last encounter with Ciel. He looked so hurt, so…broken. She wanted to take him in her arms and cuddle him like a child. But the young master, even at the age of thirteen, was not a child anymore.

* * *

Finny’s eyes were wider than before and shining with fresh tears as he heard his young master’s tale. Ciel looked wary, unsure whether he should have told him.

“You cannot tell anyone else, Finny. You understand that, right? You must swear to keep this a secret, just between us.” Ciel told him slowly, making sure the boy got the message.

Finny nodded. “Um, young master. Can I…can I hug you? It’s just, when someone hugged me I always felt better, and you look like you could use a good hug.”

Ciel was caught off-guard, but nodded. Finny came around to the other side of the desk, face serious yet worried. He embraced Ciel in a soft hug, warm and light. Ciel hugged him back, feeling both awkward and saved at the same time.

“I had no one to turn to at that place. It wasn’t until you and Sebastian came that I was finally free. It’s so weird to think of him that way now, but maybe if you found some help things will get better.” Finny told him when the hug was over.

“Maybe you’re right…” Ciel replied. “And you have to remain normal around him, don’t let him on that you know anything. It’s for the best.”

“Yes sir!” Finny saluted.

Ciel cracked an amused smile and sent him off. For propriety’s sake, he didn’t tell the gardener everything. Only that Sebastian was disobeying orders and acting out of rank when others weren’t around. He couldn’t bear to tell the full truth, but it may come to that if he sought help.

Sighing, he rested his head in his hand. Looking over the documents for his current case, from news clippings to Sebastian’s information, he tried to piece the puzzle together. A knock on the door had him lifting his head to see Sebastian enter, carrying a tray of tea with a letter.

He knew the instant he saw the red seal who it was from and what it would say, but he opened it anyway. Not saying a word to his butler, he sipped the fresh tea and read. The Queen wanted him to work the case, since Scotland Yard was incapable of finding the missing individuals, nor did they have any idea who or what could be responsible. In hindsight, he was glad he made Sebastian collect the information beforehand, even if it was just to stall him.

“You called it early this time, young master.” Sebastian murmured. “Shall I continue my investigation from earlier?” he asked.

Ciel waved him off. There was no need for that, he knew. There was only one person who could know anything about this, but he loathed to call him for help. Sebastian bowed, taking the tray and empty cup of tea with him as he left. Ciel relaxed his posture, aware that he was tense when Sebastian was around. His plan of avoidance worked for the most part, but he wondered how long he could keep it up…

Shaking his head to get his thoughts back on track, he considered his options. After talking with Finny, Ciel’s voice was still sore, but sending a letter and waiting for a response would take too long. He couldn’t put it off for much longer, especially now that the Queen gave official orders. There was no other choice. Swallowing a few times and letting the warm tea’s liquid coat his throat, he picked up the phone and dialed.

* * *

“He did wot?” Bard asked, the frying pan in his hand stilling over the burner.

“Well, I bumped into him later and he apologized, but he looked so distraught I didn’t know what to think!” Mey-rin replied.

“That’s weird, he’s not exactly nice to us but he’s never mean. I wonder why?” Bard replied, returning to his cooking.

“Well, you know how we keep hearing…the screams?” she said tentatively.

He paused again, staring at the food cooking in the pan, his cigarette burning out. “Yeah. What of it?”

“I asked Sebastian and—,”

“You did _wot_?” he exclaimed, turning on her. “Mey-rin! You can’t go around asking people why they scream at night, it’s not right!” he yelled at her.

“I know that but it had me worried, and with the young master’s behavior earlier I couldn’t help but ask!” she replied back loudly. “Anyway, he said it was just nightmares.”

“Nightmares? But…he hasn’t had those in a while. What could have triggered them?”

“I don’t know. Sebastian didn’t seem to know either. He said he tried everyfing to calm the young master down but nothing will work. But I dunno, something didn’t seem right.”

“You didn’t go on and keep asking him questions didja?”

“No, no, not that. But the young master…he looked so sad and scared earlier. And his behavior is so strange. Something happened, but they’re not telling us.” She concluded with a nod of her head, placing hands on hips.

“Well o’ course they aren’t gonna tell us, we’re just the servants! Right, Tanaka?” the chef said, looking over at the elder butler.

“Ho…ho…ho….” The chibi man replied, a steaming cup of tea in his hands.

“Right, so that settles it. It’s just nightmares. We’ll have t’ cheer the young master up somehow.” Bard explained.

“I guess.” The maid replied, still looking unsure.

“You guys you guys! I know what’s bothering the young master!” Finny exclaimed, bursting into the room.

“Wot?” Bard and Mey-rin asked, turning to him.

“Only…he swore me to secrecy, so I can’t tell you.” Finny replied bashfully once he remembered Ciel’s promise.

“THEN WHY’D YOU BLOODY SAY THAT?” Bard yelled, chucking the frying pan at him. “You can’t just go around telling people you know things but then not tell ‘em!”

“Did the young master say something to you too, Finny?” Mey-rin asked, eyes holding worry.

“Yeah. Earlier he was yellin’ at me because of my strength, but then just now he apologized and said he was upset ‘bout something. But I can’t say what it is.” Finny replied.

“Does it have something to do wif the nightmares?” Mey-rin asked. Bard threw his hands in the air and went back to cooking.

“Nightmares?” Finny asked, tilting his head to the side. “Maybe. But he hasn’t had those in a while.”

“I asked Sebastian about the screaming, and that’s what he says.”

Finny froze when she said the butler’s name, biting his lip to keep from exploding. “Well…that would explain some things.” He said. It also made him think the young master didn’t tell him everything. The knowledge was almost too much to keep contained.

Mey-rin was looking at him strangely. “Eh? Wot is it Finny?”

“It’s just…an awful coincidence.” Finny began.

“His odd behavior, yelling at us like that…” Mey-rin went on.

“An’ apologizing later, then telling me…”

“Do ya think maybe..?”

“Maybe?”

“Maybe what?” a third voice entered the conversation. Sebastian appeared at the doorway and the servants went silent. “Maybe you three should do your jobs instead of gossiping about the young master.” He said coldly.

“Hey, I’m over here mindin’ my own business, don’t throw me in with these lot.” Bard said by the stove.

“Ho…ho…ho.” Tanaka added.

“Uh, sorry Sebastian! We’ll get to work right away!” Mey-rin exclaimed, dashing around the kitchen.

Finny looked up at him, as if unsure whether to glare at him or start crying again. Remembering what the young master told him, thinking about the screams at night and the supposed nightmares, it felt like something was starting to click.

Sebastian looked down at him, arching an eyebrow. “Well, don’t you have a garden to tend? What with your earlier mishaps, you’ve made quite a mess to fix.”

Finny nodded and ran past him, unable to control his temper any longer. He wanted to hate Sebastian for mistreating the young master, but this was also the man who saved his life. He gave him a home, freedom, an escape from the pain and torment. But if he was doing the same things to Ciel that were done to him in that place, then why did it matter? He was still a bad person, despite his good deeds. And Finny could never forgive him for that.

Sebastian’s eyes flashed crimson as he watched Finny run away. The boy knew something. With the questions Mey-rin asked earlier, he had a feeling the servants were getting close to the truth. Couldn’t have that now, could we?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Count how many times I wrote “young master” and you get a cookie. I feel like I wrote it so many times…but that’s what they call him so…eh. Here we’re beginning to see the mental effects of Sebastian’s abuse, and the start of Ciel reaching for help. But wait, there’s also an actual plot to this, with a case and everything! Will Ciel be able to solve it? Find out in a few more chapters~ Until then, let me know what you think. Any questions, comments, ideas, etc are welcome!


	5. S.O.S.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji or the song title which is by Apocalyptica. 
> 
> Warning: Mentions of rape, abuse, and other not fun stuff. Yaoi, pedophilia.
> 
> Beta’d by my wifey Petra Jade <3

“We need to talk.” Ciel began once the call was connected.

_“Well this is a rare surprise, young Earl.”_ The voice on the other line murmured slowly.

“I am in no mood to waste time. Have you heard about the recent disappearances?” Ciel asked, trying to keep his words at a minimum. He swallowed, drinking more tea.

_“Hmmm, as the butterfly sips from the nectar of a flower, so does the sun lick the leaves of grass in a field…”_ was the vague reply.

Ciel sighed, rubbing his temples. He always _loathed_ speaking with Lau because of his cryptic messages. The Chinaman was never clear and rarely understood the conversation being held. However, there were times when he proved useful, and Ciel hoped this was one of those times.

“Look, I know what you do at that place of yours, so just tell me if you’ve noticed any competition or an increase in the trade.”  Ciel told him furiously.

_“Oh yes, there has been an increase lately.”_

“So you’ve seen them, then?” he asked, sitting up expectantly. He hoped this case could be solved quickly and with little trouble, and if Lau could point him in the right direction he wouldn’t think so badly of the man.

_“Mmhmmm…”_ Lau murmured. There was a short silence before he added, _“What were we talking about?”_

Ciel closed his eyes and took a deep breath, willing himself to relax. He couldn’t start yelling at Lau and risk damaging his throat any more. He also couldn’t strangle the man through the phone. Perhaps a meeting in person would have sufficed…at least then he could whack Lau with his cane. “The missing people, Lau. I have a feeling they’re being used in the black market slave trade.”

_“Oh my…”_

“Lau…” he growled, gritting his teeth. He could tell there was something the man knew, something he was holding back, but Ciel was too impatient to play games right now.

_“Oh, you want to know if I’ve seen them around? Perhaps…but not as the kind of slaves you’re thinking of, Earl.”_

Ciel’s eyes widened. Could it be..?

***

“Ugh, all this work and no play makes a lady sweat.” Grell groaned.

Will adjusted his glasses with the hedge clippers he used as a death scythe. “You have been slacking off lately, and therefore souls are not getting harvested. Now I must leave you to take care of this mess, and I trust you won’t make matters worse.” He ordered, glaring at the other reaper.

“You won’t stay with me?” Grell asked, pouting and slouching over his chainsaw.

“No.”

“But Wiiiiiill~!” the red-headed reaper whined, clutching the other’s leg as he walked away.

“Don’t make me have to come back down here to clean up after you.” Will added and was gone.

Grell fell flat on the rooftop, then sat up with arms crossed—still pouting—until he saw a familiar figure walking by on the streets below.

“Oh look, the little brat is out and about. Oh, that must mean Bassy’s here too!” Grell exclaimed and jumped down to the ground.

Ciel stopped when the reaper landed in front of him, narrowing his eyes. “What do you want?”

“How rude to say to a lady~! But where’s that handsome butler of yours?” the reaper replied, looking around the small form in front of him, hand across his forehead. “Don’t you normally bring him along when you go out?”

Ciel shook his head and walked around him. “Not this time.”

***

“Now where did that little menace get to?” Sebastian murmured to himself, hands on his hips. It was almost nightfall and he had yet to see his young master. He could always use his contract mark to find him, of course, but the fact that he managed to slip away unnerved him. “Mey-rin, did you see the young master leave the mansion?” he called when he caught sight of the maid walking across the hall.

Mey-rin froze in place, thinking of her last encounter with the Earl.

_“Listen, I need to go see Lau, so I’ll be gone for a while.” Ciel told her, grabbing his outside ensemble near the door._

_“Okay, but…aren’t you taking Sebastian?” she asked, confused and curious. She remembered the conversation she had with the other servants and was still analyzing what it all could mean. The young master never left without his butler, unless they split up to gather more information._

_“I don’t need him for this. I’ll be back by dinner.” He replied, putting on his cape and top-hat. She helped him attach the cape and adjusted the hat out of habit._

_“Are you sure? It’s dangerous out there for the young master all alone.” She said worriedly._

_“I’ll be fine, don’t worry.” He told her, taking his cane and exiting the mansion. Sighing, he turned back to her and added, “If he asks just let him know where I am, alright?”_

_Reassured, she nodded and managed to smile as she watched him leave._

Slowly turning back to Sebastian, who was scowling down at her, she replied, “Uhm, erm…well, I _did_ see him…”

“And why didn’t you tell me?” his tone of voice indicated his irritation, making her gulp and stammer even more.

“H-he said he was going to see Lau and would be back by dinner. He also said to tell you if you asked, so…that’s where he is.” She replied, trembling slightly.

The butler sighed and pulled on a coat. “I’ll go get him, then. Next time tell me _before_ I ask, Mey-rin.”

She nodded vigorously and watched him leave. There was something different about his demeanor, something unusually cold in his voice. It was like the young master acting out earlier. Frowning, she wondered if they would ever find out what was wrong between the two.

***

“Ohhh, so you’re all alone out here?” Grell asked, leaning down beside Ciel so they were eye-level.

“I’m never alone.” The boy replied grimly, staring ahead as he kept walking.

Grell straightened, frowning. “Sooo…where are you going?”

“To Lau’s.” Ciel told him. He leaned on his cane a bit more heavily as he tried to outpace the reaper, already annoyed and in a hurry.

“My my~ you’re being a _naughty_ Earl, aren’t you?” Grell said, wiggling his eyebrows. Ciel sent him a glare but stumbled when he turned back. “Are you…alright?” the reaper blinked, reaching forward slightly in case the boy needed help.

“I’m working a case, and he has information that could be of use.” The Earl told him, ignoring the question. Grell withdrew the hand when he saw the boy steady himself.

“Don’t tell me there are more dead people!”

“I don’t know. They’ve all gone missing.”

The reaper took out the list of the dead from his coat, flipping through it. “Any of these people?” he asked, showing him the list.

Ciel paused and glanced over it, taking out his papers with the list of missing persons. “No, so that must mean they’re all still alive.” He said and kept walking. Grell followed, humming a tune. Ciel stopped again and looked back at him. “Why are you following me still? Don’t you have your own case to work?”

“Oh that stuff’s _boring_. Besides, you need some protection.” He replied with a wave of his wrist and a toothy smile.

Ciel sighed. “Fine, just don’t get in my way.”

“So why do you keep limping? I mean you usually have your cane but I never thought you actually _needed_ it.” Grell asked after a moment of observation.

Ciel paused again. “I’m not limping.”

“I think I know a limp when I see one, especially after following all those older people around until they finally croaked.” Grell replied with a flip of red hair.

The boy growled, clenching his fist around the cane. He tried telling himself to stay calm, when suddenly Finny’s words came back to him. Tell someone…get help…maybe? Turning toward the reaper who was sometimes a friend, sometimes a foe, he opened his mouth but nothing came out. Grell stopped, looking at him curiously. “How much do you know about demons?” he finally asked in a low voice.

“Hmm? Why would you ask me?” the confused reaper replied with a tilt of the head.

“I’m just curious about…the contract.”

“But you two have been together for years, right? Don’t you know all of that already?” Grell asked.

“Well, things have…changed, lately.” Ciel confessed, choosing his words carefully. It was oddly refreshing to admit. Just like when he told Finny, he felt relieved and almost like he couldn’t stop talking, despite the humiliation he felt when mentioning the abuse. For some reason, though, he felt like he could trust this reaper with the information.

“Changed _how_?” Grell asked incredulously, curious.

Ciel glanced around, then dragged him into an alleyway nearby. “He’s not obeying orders like he used to.”

“Oooooo, being a _bad boy_ is he?” the reaper replied, hugging himself and wriggling around.

“More than you think.” Ciel grumbled, which caught the red-head’s attention.

“Do tell.” He said, leaning in close. Ciel looked away, suddenly silent. The reaper inched closer, even more curious at his behavior. He poked the Earl, grinning. “Come on~ you can tell Auntie Grell.”

“It’s just…only during a certain time.”

Grell sat back, beginning to put the pieces together already. It was all over Ciel’s face, in his posture, the limp, the hesitation, and red tint to his cheeks. “Really? When?”

“At…at night.”

Grell gasped, moving forward again. “You mean you get to have fun with my Bassy at night and I don’t?!”

“It’s not fun, Grell! Being tied up and ravaged against my will is _not_ the kind of game I like to play!” Ciel yelled. Wincing from his still sore lungs being taxed, he tried swallowing and began to cough.

“Ohhh…so it’s _rough_ stuff, eh?”

Ciel looked away again, face red, as he tried to steady his breathing. “He won’t stop when I order him to, and I don’t understand it.”

“Does he really tie you up? Oh it sounds so dreamy, I just knew Bassy was a bad boy!” Grell sighed, fantasizing about what the two of them could do together without any limitations.

“It is in no way ‘dreamy’ as you put it, Grell. It’s painful and humiliating and…I don’t know why I’m even telling you.” The Earl huffed, turning away.

“Maybe he’s doing it out of love. You know demons are a bit weird when it comes to emotion. Plus if that were the case, all his fights with me are really battles of the heart!” Grell exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down.

The Earl thought about that possibility for only a moment before he decided not to go down that path. If that was a demon’s love, he wanted no part of it. “He could give me anything but love.” He muttered.

“Hm, what did you say?”

“Take a look for yourself.” he grumbled, lifting his shirt. Blotches of purple and yellow littered his body. He pulled up his sleeves to show the rope burns on his wrists and removed the scarf around his neck to show the strangulation marks.

“Oh my, I had no idea demons were allowed to do that in a contract!” Grell replied after examining the wounds.

“Yeah, me neither.” Ciel grumbled, adjusting his clothing back to normal.

“Well there’s not much that _I_ can do about it, dear. You’re the one in the contract.”

“But aren’t reapers and demons technically enemies?”

“Well yes, but I could never choose between you and my Bassy! Besides, we only interfere when it comes to souls. So until—I mean, _unless_ —he beats you to death, it’s none of my business.” Grell shrugged, looking at his nails.

Ciel sighed. “I figured it would be no use asking you for help. Now I’m late to Lau’s.” he growled, taking his cane and walking out of the alley.

“But wait, there _is_ something I can do…” Grell started to say, then trailed off.

Ciel turned back, giving him an expectant look. “And what could that be?” He highly doubted the reaper could offer anything useful, but there was always something unpredictable about reapers.

“What if I told you I knew who killed your parents?”

***

Sebastian ran down the dirt lane leading away from the mansion, creating a dust trail behind him. Ciel left the mansion without him, not even bothering to tell him. The servants were beginning to whisper amongst themselves about the two of them. This disobedience could not be allowed, not if he wanted to watch the young master break. His will was strong—enticingly strong, tempting to be destroyed—but soon it would fall before him. The king would bow down to the pawn.

Reaching the city, he jumped onto the rooftops and made his way across them, honing in on his young master’s location. He was close to Lau’s little opium den, but he wasn’t alone. Why would he go out to see Lau at this time of day? It was true the boy was avoiding the butler, going so far as to mingle with the servants. They weren’t alone together for more than a few minutes, just enough time to deliver his tea and then be waved out.

He knew the boy was thinking of more ways out. He didn’t touch him the night before because he was too fragile and exhausted, but tonight he would be recovered enough to continue their ritual. Sebastian knew Ciel would use any excuse to get out of it, and this was probably one of them. Going out late and probably staying at Lau’s longer than necessary just to claim fatigue once he got home.

He would probably try to give himself another asthma attack, or try new orders. The demon had to admit the boy had a creative imagination and could put it to use effectively against any opponent. The only problem was this opponent would win. One way or another, no matter what the young noble tried, the demon could counter and dominate. This was all just a game after all.

He was on the rooftop right above the alleyway when he heard the reaper’s words. Jumping down to the street below, he approached them silently.

“My…my parents?” Ciel asked, stepping toward him. His eye held a new light, one of hope and astonishment.

“Yes, the ones who set fire to the mansion and everything in it.” Grell replied. “Of course, once you knew and attained your revenge, your contract would be over. Are you sure you want to know?”

“Of course I do! That is the only reason why I am still alive, to take vengeance against myself and my family. I want this contract to end as soon as possible, so I can get away from this torment and finally be at peace!” Ciel yelled back, gripping his cane tightly.

“As do I, young master.” Sebastian spoke up, appearing out of the shadows of the building. He saw Ciel freeze and his back tense. “But I doubt Grell is a very trustworthy source. Besides, if you knew then that would mean they are dead, isn’t that right?” he added, facing Grell.

“Ohhh Bassy~! I knew you’d come sooner or later! Give me a smooch!” the reaper shrieked, jumping forward and holding his arms out. Sebastian side-stepped him, moving closer to Ciel. “You’re too cruel!” Grell cried after falling flat on his face for the second time that day.

“And you should watch what information you so freely give out.” Sebastian told him, eyes hooded.

Grell shivered. “That look is worse than the one Will gives me! His is cold, but yours is _smoldering_!” he squealed, hopping up. “And you’re wrong. That doesn’t mean they’re already dead. I can simply access the Phantomhive records and discover how they died—and by whom—with the notes provided by the reapers who took their souls. There are also the cinematic records to look through.”

“Why didn’t you say that earlier?!” Ciel exclaimed, finally able to move again to advance against Grell. Sebastian put a hand on his shoulder and the boy looked up at him: confusion, anger, and fear mixing amidst his features.

“Well you never really asked—,” Grell began.

“Because it would have proven useless. Reapers don’t normally keep very detailed accounts of the souls they collect. Even cinematic records can be lost or misplaced over time. It would not be that easy, young master.” Sebastian explained.

“Oh I know why you’re saying this, Bassy! You just want to prolong—,” Grell began again but was cut off by Sebastian’s boot slamming into his face.

“Come along, young master. Lau is waiting for you.” The butler said, pulling Ciel down the street. The reaper was left to lay in the street, wondering what day it was and why everyone around him scorned his advances of love. Ciel yanked his arm out of Sebastian’s grip, walking ahead and focusing on the anger he felt instead of the anxiety. They were silent for a moment until the demon spoke up. “Why did you not tell me you were coming here? I would have gone with you, young master.”

“I didn’t need your accompaniment.” The boy bit out, not looking at him.

“You still should have told me. What if something were to happen to you out here all alone?”

“I wasn’t alone, as you saw. Besides, you can easily find me when you want to, right? So what’s the problem?”

Sebastian reached out to stop the Earl, frowning down at him. “Next time you want to get away from me, do it where you aren’t in danger of someone else catching you off-guard.” He growled, eyes flashing.

Ciel glared up at him. “Don’t tell me what to do. I am still the master! If I don’t need you, don’t come after me. I am not some lost puppy to fetch.” He spat, whirling around to keep walking.

“More like a little lost lamb…” Sebastian murmured with a smile, following.

They reached Lau’s establishment and entered a haze of mist. Ciel could barely see what was in front of him, and the smell made his brain sluggish. He pushed on, however, knowing Lau would be near the back, lounging on a couch probably surrounded by half-naked Asian girls as usual.

“Finally, the Earl arrives. I never knew you to be late.” Lau greeted them, a pipe in one hand and a girl wrapped around the other.

“I was delayed by an idiot. Now, about what we discussed earlier—,” Ciel replied.

“Hello there Sebastian. I thought you said he wouldn’t be coming? Change your mind? It does get a bit rough out here, I’ll admit.” Lau said, cutting the Earl off as he turned to the butler with a pleasant smile.

“Nevermind that, now tell me—,”

“Would you like to sit down and relax? I have some pipes if you would like to indulge in some pleasure. Or I can lend you some of the girls.”

“Listen to me! I didn’t come here to partake of your women or drugs, I came here for information!” Ciel shouted, slamming his hands down on the table between himself and the man before him. His throat was itchy from all the talking, and the drugged air wasn’t helping. He coughed a few more times before covering his mouth and trying not to inhale too much.

“Alright, alright, I was just offering some hospitality since you came all the way down here.” Lau replied, putting his hands up in surrender. “Anyway, the people that have gone missing recently are appearing in the black market, yes, and they are sold as slaves, indeed, but not normal slaves.”

“What kind then?” Ciel asked gruffly.

“Sex slaves, my dear Earl. You know, kind of like when you—,”

“So they’ve been kidnapped in order to serve in the underworld’s pleasure houses. Which ones?” Sebastian interrupted.

Lau smiled, watching Ciel’s face react to the news. After shaking the memories of his past out of his head, new memories of his present began flooding his mind, clinging at the edges. He closed his eyes, leaning forward as a wave of dizziness and nausea surfaced. Pushing it back, he focused on his breathing.

“Yes, and they’re not coming here, if that’s what you think. I have my own pool to draw from when it comes to my girls.” Lau answered.

“Then where? You must know, especially if it’s competition.” Sebastian asked again.

“I can show you, but you won’t be able to get them back very easily. Unless, of course, you buy them all. That wouldn’t look very well for the Earl, however.” Lau told him.

“We’ll deal with that when the time comes, just tell us where they are.” Ciel spoke, glaring at him.

Lau bent his head in a small bow. “Certainly.” He said and stood. “Although if you want my advice, I suggest infiltration.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: The Queen of Cliffies has returned, buwahaha! But seriously, why couldn’t they just ask the reapers who killed his parents? I’ve wondered about that for a while, but of course that would just be too easy. Also, I know Ciel may seem a bit OOC in this chapter as he tells Grell about what happened, but abuse changes people, so deal with it~ Anyway, let me know what you think! Questions, comments, ideas, anything but flames. Love? Yes. Flames? No. I warned you. Peace


	6. For Your Entertainment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel's latest investigation takes an uneasy turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, because it belongs to the wonderful Yana Tobosa. The song mentioned in the title is by Adam Lambert.
> 
> Warning: Sex trafficking, implied/mentions of rape, pedophilia, abuse, and yaoi. An even more graphic smut scene awaits.
> 
> My waifu Petra Jade beta’d this really long chapter~

“Are you sure about this? It seems awfully…small,” Ciel said in a tiny voice. He looked into the mirror at his image and cringed, feeling exposed and nearly naked in the outfit Lau picked out for him. It was made for one of the girls and altered to fit his small frame—maybe a bit too much. It clung tightly to his skin, revealing way too much for his liking.

“You look wonderful! I’m sure they’ll be pleased with the purchase,” Lau replied excitedly.

Ciel was still hesitant and wary to go through with the plan they came up with. “Remember, it’s just to investigate. This is only temporary, so don’t take things too far.”

The older man nodded. “Of course. But we must _act_ like we’re serious, or else we won’t be able to find out anything. Now, are you ready?”

“I…guess,” the boy mumbled. He looked to Sebastian with worried eyes, hoping he would suggest something else or pull out of this. Putting on a dress for Viscount Druitt was one thing. Things almost got bad back there, and that was when the two of them had a _great_ relationship. How would things go now, after all that had happened? He wondered—no, _feared_ —that Sebastian would not be pretending once they got into it. And Lau? His motives were always a mystery.

“This way, then. I’ll be the seller and Sebastian will be your trainer, agreed?” Lau replied.

Ciel hesitantly nodded his head in acknowledgement, then followed Lau into a carriage. Sebastian took out some chains while they were on the way, indicating he was going to put them on. “Are those really…necessary?” Ciel breathed. Flashbacks of previous nights clouded his vision until he blinked them away. He tried to shut those thoughts out, but he never knew when they would decide to burst through.

“Of course. You’re being sold into the sex industry, Earl, chains are just a part of the business,” Lau answered casually. Sebastian was being surprisingly silent, his expression unreadable. Ciel didn’t like his behavior—it made him nervous, and only encouraged his mind to believe there would be no going back from this.

“Here we are,” Lau said when they approached the right place. Ciel was lead out of the carriage in chains, dreading this scenario before it even began. He had a feeling this undercover investigation would be even worse than the one he performed during Jack the Ripper’s case. Lau lead them inside a building which oozed Black Market and up to a man sitting behind a desk. “Hello there, Mr. Simmons. I am here to sell another piece of goods.”

Ciel wanted to hide, wanted to run, and most of all wanted to back down. What he wanted and what he had to do, however, were not the same thing. The earl had to be strong for this, in order to get through it and solve the case. His eyes were already wandering around for signs of the missing people, having memorized their faces and names. All he could see were people in obscure clothing chatting softly with each other and looking at boxes. He could only imagine what was held inside.

“Welcome back, Lau. What have we here today?” the man behind the desk, Mr. Simmons, asked. He readied his pen to take down the necessary information on a piece of paper.

“The Earl and Her Majesty’s Guard Dog, Ciel Phantomhive,” Lau announced, gesturing toward the boy. Sebastian prodded him forward to be inspected.

“Ha! Finally caught him, did you? This boy is possibly the most valuable piece of goods one could sell! Tons of people want him as their own, as I’m sure you know. But, I must confirm identity first…” the man replied, an excited gleam in his eye.

He stood up and walked around to the other side of the desk, using his pen to tilt Ciel’s face up. The trafficker examined Ciel’s good eye and lifted the patch to reveal the discolored one, grinning. Then he poked at his ribs, to which the boy gave out a yelp. “I need to see it,” Simmons told Lau, who nodded and lifted his shirt to reveal the brand.

Ciel tried to hide it instinctually, stumbling back, but was caught by Sebastian. Looking up into those cold red eyes, he wanted to plead with his demon butler to make it all stop. “There it is!” the man gasped feverishly. Returning back to his desk, the man began scribbling away.

“I can assure you he’s the real deal. I went through a lot of trouble to get him,” Lau told him. Somehow, Ciel’s worries only intensified with this exchange. Would Lau really be using this as an opportunity to sell him back into slavery? He leaned back further into Sebastian, wishing their relationship wasn’t as damaged as it was, wishing his butler would do something to get him out of this.

“And who is this? I hear the kid has some kind of protection around him, which has been the downfall of many who’ve tried to capture him before,” the man asked, eyeing Sebastian.

“I am his trainer,” Sebastian finally spoke up, his voice calm. Ciel thought he heard a hint of possessiveness in that tone.

“Yes, I made a deal with his protector, and he agreed to bring him back under the condition that he come along. Don’t worry, though, he knows what he’s doing,” Lau added.

Ciel gulped. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like this at all. It was all too real, too close for comfort. More memories of his past—of being held down and used, of the ritual which started it all, of Sebastian appearing and offering him a contract for his soul—came crashing through his mind. He trembled, closing his eyes and trying to shove the visions away again. ‘ _What if this ended up the same as the beginning?’_

They were acting too perfectly, as if this was planned way before the case even turned up. Maybe he was just imagining it all due to nervousness and the recent abuse he suffered. But still, something didn’t seem right…

Simmons looked up at Sebastian, measuring him, and nodded. “Good. Follow me then, we’ll test him first.”

_‘Test me? What the hell could he mean by that?’_ he thought, again fearing the worst.

“I’d like to discuss the pricing before you do that. Right now he’s practically undamaged, and I don’t want to take any losses after you soil him,” Lau said, halting their movements. Ciel whirled around, but realized he must be stalling. He probably saw the boy’s scared and confused face. Though “practically undamaged” was a bit of an understatement. If they saw the bruises and marks…that must be why he wanted to get paid up front.

Simmons looked him over. “It’s hard to put a price on one such as him. We’ll put him up for auction and will be sure to raise a large amount of money—probably the highest yet! There will be such a stir about this…”

“Then perhaps I can get a percentage of the auction price for my payment.” Lau replied.

_‘Alright, maybe I’m wrong. He probably planned this from the start and is just worried about his money! Damn him…’_ Ciel thought angrily. Again looking to Sebastian, whose face remained passive, the boy realized he would be getting no help.

“Hmmm, it’s hard to say what kind of price he would fetch…” Simmons replied, unsure.

“It’s either a percentage of the winnings or an amount of my choosing now. I’ll leave the decision up to you,” Lau countered.

The other man seemed to think his options over. Ciel watched the exchange, thinking it would be important to the case. He didn’t want to think this was real in any way. Finally, the man seemed to come to a decision with himself and took Lau aside, gesturing for them to go on.

“This is our chance, now we must—,” Ciel began in a whisper but was cut off with a hand to his lips. His eyes met Sebastian’s and words ceased. After being lead to a room that smelled of disgrace and putrid deeds, he covered his nose but couldn’t keep his eyes from seeing the filth from what must go on. He started to walk slower, then took a few steps back. The demon at his side grabbed at the chains and tugged, pulling him forward. Before he could speak again they were approached by another man.

“Ah, there you are. This is the testing room. We have to be sure of each slave’s skills before we can sell them at a suitable price. Virgins are exceptional for some and land a large amount, but sometimes people want a more experienced item,” the man told them.

Trying to hold back vomit, the boy in chains didn’t want to know, nor go through with, whatever the man was talking about. He saw a young girl getting stripped, crying out and trying to cover herself, and had to look away. His eyes caught sight of another act of degradation, this time a young boy being fondled, tears running down his cheeks. Closing his eyes, he swore never to allow himself to be put in this situation again. This was going too far already.

“You’re his trainer, right? You should have an idea of what he’s capable of. We already know he’s not a virgin, but what he _is_ , well…” the man leered. The Earl couldn’t meet his stare.

“He has been subjected to bondage with rope, chains, and homemade restraints,” Sebastian began. Ciel blocked out the demon’s list of tortures he was made to endure, forcing himself to look around more. If he could find evidence of the missing persons he came for, then maybe this would be over quick. He searched the faces in the room, but didn’t recognize any of them. Wait, that one looked familiar…

But the faces from the pictures blurred together, and he couldn’t recall any of the names. He had to focus!

“I’m sure all that you said is correct, but we have a standard test we use just to make sure. You don’t mind, of course?” the man finally replied.

Ciel paid attention to the conversation at this point, not wanting to miss what was about to be done to him. He noticed a more obvious look of ownership in Sebastian’s eyes when the man spoke, a spark of crimson lighting up his irises.

“I would prefer doing it myself, as his trainer,” the demon spoke, a dark edge to his normally smooth voice.

“Well, we do it ourselves just to make sure. We’ve had a few fakers come through who have disappointed our clients in the past. Don’t worry, I’ll return him to you once we’re done. You can stay and watch, of course.”

_‘No, no, don’t let them do this to me. Not again, not by these…people,’_ Ciel pleaded wordlessly, looking up at his butler. ‘ _Would an order be ignored this time? Am I able to turn back now before it’s too late?’_

“Fine, I’ll stay then,” Sebastian answered. Ciel’s eyes widened. The demon was really going to go through with this, and make Ciel perform this test whether the boy was willing or not. Considering everything else that was done to him, he supposed it was nothing new and should have been expected. Somehow this seemed different, though. It wasn’t Sebastian, who he once trusted and knew. It was a complete stranger, like before.

“Alright then,” the man said and reached toward his pants. Ciel immediately jumped back, once again putting his back against his butler. When the man unzipped his trousers and let them fall to the floor, he inched behind Sebastian, clutching him.

“Now, now, Ciel. No need to be shy,” the demon said, his voice not as comforting as he would have liked. He took hold of one of Ciel’s hands and pulled him gently forward. The demon knew what the boy was feeling, how scared and humiliated he already felt. Part of him enjoyed what was about to happen, while another part—a part which alarmed even himself—wanted to whisk him away. He was the _only_ one who was supposed to lay hands on his master this way. No one else could touch him. However, in light of the investigation…

Ciel’s fingers dug into his butler’s coat, his face hidden in his side. Tears were already beginning to form. Part of him wanted Sebastian to just do the test, but he immediately dismissed that line of thinking. He didn’t want to do this at all, no matter who it was!

“Bring him to his knees,” the man commanded, his cock out and ready. Ciel shook his head but was pushed down. Sebastian held him in position with both hands on top of his shoulders, their weight preventing any movement. The boy whimpered, trying to lean away. “Now open his mouth.”

There was hesitation before the order was fulfilled, Sebastian using his teeth to take off one glove and using his fingers to pry open Ciel’s mouth. The boy clenched his jaw, biting down and turning his head away to prevent the act.

“Feisty one, eh?” the man laughed, his balls jiggling with the momentum. It made Ciel sick, but was enough of a distraction for Sebastian to work his mouth open.

The boy struggled, but was held down yet again by the person he used to trust the most. Closing his eyes and trying to forget this was happening, he didn’t see the man’s average-sized piece of manhood approaching. He felt it, though, as the tip pressed against his lips, making him shudder and try to move his head again. Sebastian’s grip was locked on, and the penis slid past his lips and onto his tongue. Almost gagging, he opened his mouth wider to accommodate, not wanting to taste the foreign object. He bared his teeth, prepared to sink them into the soft flesh as his tongue danced around, trying to get away from the hardening length.

“You know what to do,” Sebastian whispered in his ear. Gasping, Ciel squeezed his eyes shut tighter and refused. It was bad enough with him. “Do it and this will all be over shortly,” the demon whispered again, so soft no one else could have heard.

His master relaxed slightly, knowing it was true, though his body stayed tensed and bunched. The demon almost added not to dare bite the head that was almost touching the back of his throat, but it would be bad for the marketer to hear. As his trainer, this behavior was pitiful to begin with. To have to _tell_ his “pet” not to bite only proved he was not fully trained—which reflected on Sebastian’s abilities.

“Come on, little kitten, just suck,” the man cooed, reaching for Ciel’s hair. Sebastian uttered a low growl and maneuvered his master’s head the way the man wanted, not allowing the hand to make contact. He didn’t like the use of that nickname, but refrained from killing the man. That would come later.

Ciel could taste liquid forming at the tip as it slid down the back of his throat. It was too far in to really get what the man wanted. Knowing this, he slid out a bit to allow for more room. Ciel forced himself to swallow, willing himself not to puke. He didn’t even try to focus on the smell coming from the man’s pubic hair, nor think about how many other mouths had been wrapped around this penis. Slowly, reluctantly, his tongue licked at the flesh. He felt it harden and flinched, but kept licking.

“That’s better,” the man moaned. An audience was growing around them, unbeknownst to the Earl. Sebastian kept his eyes on the man forcing his master to give him a blowjob. It was all he could do not to glare at the excited and aroused faces gathering around. He was already planning their gruesome exit.

With more prompting, Ciel closed his mouth around the length, keeping his teeth from touching it. Without thinking, he pulled. Actually, he was thinking of how he ate lollipops. Of course, those thoughts soon turned to another man’s penis wedged inside his mouth…

Before he realized it he was sucking the man’s cock, although not as vigorously as he was probably supposed to. His teeth occasionally scraped against the hardened flesh, and the taste of cum coating his mouth made him gag, but he swallowed it down. The intensity and speed increased until he could feel the sides of his mouth crack and stretch, coated with saliva and semen. Just when he was wondering when this would ever be over, the dick was pulled out. He coughed and covered his mouth, wiping the remains away. His stomach was roiling, ready to regurgitate what was just forced inside.

“Wow, that was just perfect,” the man breathed, swaying slightly. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and the crowd began clapping. Ciel noticed the people gathered, but before he could let out a scream of embarrassment, Sebastian whipped out a handkerchief to wipe at his mouth. Their eyes met again. Ciel heard the zipper being pulled up and was relieved that this was finally over. Never again did he want to experience something so vile from someone so wretched.

“You did well training him,” the man said again, regaining himself.

“Yes, well, he’s used to just me,” Sebastian remarked, standing to meet him face to face.

“Ah, right. That’s why I…uh…pulled out before…”

Ciel understood at that moment what actually happened. Sebastian, sensing the man was about to orgasm in his mouth, must have pushed him out. The small amount of semen that leaked inside was bad enough, but having to swallow the entire load wasn’t something he was prepared for—nor, apparently, Sebastian was prepared to allow.

“Well, he’s all set now. We’ll get word out about the auction to make sure a big crowd shows up for this one. He’ll be the perfect centerpiece for the group we just got in,” the man rambled on to erase his awkward stammering before.

The last sentence made Ciel aware of the case, and he was distressed over the fact that he nearly forgot. _‘He must be referring to the ones I’m searching for, those people who were kidnapped. Figures someone kept them all in order to sell them for the highest profit,’_ the young detective thought.

He was jerked away so suddenly by the chains that he nearly fell, letting out a startled “ack!” and glaring up at the culprit. Crimson eyes glared back down at him. Oh, Sebastian was _pissed_. The demon dragged the Earl to a remote area of the building, so they were finally alone.

Unable to hold back any longer, Ciel turned to the corner and retched. Gasping and choking, he didn’t stop until he was dry-heaving, rubbing his throat raw with the stagnant air. His mouth hurt, his lips cracked, and he couldn’t get the taste out. He was offered the handkerchief again to clean up, then picked up to be carried further.

All this time the demon was silent, and Ciel didn’t know what to say. He was angry, scared, disgraced, confused…so many emotions conflicting inside his mind. The young boy didn’t know whether to be grateful for the previous tortures or if he would have preferred to be less damaged for when this happened. It would have been even worse if that was his first time, but it didn’t make things any better.

He realized they were in a washroom when Sebastian set him down. Cold water was splashed onto his face, and it felt so good he shoved his head inside the bucket. Then a soft towel was used to dry him off. He didn’t really understand why Sebastian was treating him this way until a woman spoke up.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that, we can take care of him from here,” she said as she approached.

The demon looked up at her, and she hesitated. “I will stay with him throughout the entire process,” he told her. Something in his voice made her understand, so she nodded.

The boy, still in chains, noticed she was holding towels. Looking around, he assumed this was where the slaves were taken to be cleaned up and made presentable for the auction. There were a few other women hovering around, holding soaps and brushes. Some other slaves were also present, getting bathed. He tried to recognize them, but his mind was still reeling from his recent trauma.

“We would still like to help, if that’s alright,” the woman said after a moment. Sebastian paused as he lifted a washcloth from the bucket, then gave her a slight nod. She smiled. “Let’s put him in one of the larger baths, instead of just using that bucket. We can even wash that cute outfit of his to wear later.”

Ciel wanted to struggle away, but the second his muscles clenched, a hand was placed on his shoulder. Refusing to look at his butler, he stopped nonetheless. Then he was stripped and placed in a pool where some of the others were being bathed in different corners. If this were a different situation entirely, it would be a luxurious pampering. But he knew full well what was going on around him and why this was being done. The women and Sebastian rubbed soap into his hair and used brushes for his body. He flinched and leaned away but it was no use. Some parts where the brush touched him hurt, and he let out a hiss to alert them. They were gentle. Other parts tickled, and he bit his lip to hold back any chuckles or spasms. He watched them work, just as he knew Sebastian was watching them, and was amazed when he saw himself.

The marks, the bruises, the swelling, the cuts…they were all gone. He held up his wrists to examine the rope burns and chain imprints, but they weren’t there either. ‘ _Odd, how could they just disappear like that? Is it part of the demon’s power? Why couldn’t he just erase them all along if that were the case?’_ Finally gaining the courage to look at his butler, Ciel’s eyes held a questioning expression.

“It appears this water has medicinal properties, am I right?” Sebastian asked the women.

“Yes, and the soaps we use as well. We don’t like to sell too many used goods, but when we do we make sure they at least _look_ brand new,” one replied, rather too cheerily.

Used goods. That was what he was. Damaged, unclean—just as the angel said, so long ago. He was still impure, and not even the best medicine could purge him. Not even fire could purify him.

“How thoughtful. You take care of these slaves almost like…maids,” Sebastian murmured. Ciel’s eyes widened at the word. His body froze, thinking of the way he said that, and of his own servants back at the mansion.

“And if I didn’t know any better, I would think you were his butler,” she laughed. Ciel twitched, jerking away. “Oh, easy now.” She giggled.

The Earl shook his head, wanting this nightmare to end. ‘ _When will I wake up?’_ He wanted to be back in his bed, in the warm clean sheets, with his parents still alive. He wanted to be in a place where none of this happened, where those people never touched him, where this demon never existed. Clutching himself and doubling over, he began to sob.

“Aww, he must miss his home. Don’t worry, you’ll get a new one soon!” she said in order to soothe him. Her words only made him cry out more.

“Se…bas…tian…”

“Shhh,” the demon whispered in his ear. “I think that is enough for now. Thank you, ladies, but I’ll take him to rest now. He’s been through a lot today,” he told the women. They looked disappointed but complied, taking their tools with them and leaving a few towels. Sebastian began drying his master off, but the boy jolted at his touch. Sighing, he wrapped him in the towel, scooping him up in his arms, and carried him out of the bathing room. The clothes were still drying, so he would have to find something else for Ciel to wear.

Finding an unoccupied room, he set his bundle on the bed and started opening drawers and closets. Ciel curled in on himself, clutching his knees to his chest and huddling up in the towel. He watched the demon’s every move. Soon the boy started shivering, still wet. Sebastian approached with a fresh pair of clothing and waited. The boy hesitated, then nodded for him to come closer. The towel was patted against his skin and hair, and then he was pulled to the edge of the bed. Sebastian began dressing him, still in silence. Ciel couldn’t take it anymore.

“What’s going on? Did you and Lau plan this all along?” he asked in a low voice.

“It had to be real, or else it would never work,” Sebastian murmured. “Your terror and reactions to everything had to be as if you really were captured. You would never have been able to act the right way if we told you everything.”

“And that test? I suppose it was all part of the plan as well?” the boy replied angrily. He was met with a sharp glance, making him lean away.

“I can assure you I was not pleased with what just happened either. As I said, for this investigation to work we had to go through everything. We’re not done yet, either.”

“You weren’t the one that—!” Ciel began in a shout, then his voice constricted and he coughed. “You didn’t have to go through it, _I_ did. How does that in any way displease you?” he spat.

He was shoved down, Sebastian towering over him, his demon eyes burning into him. A low growl was sounding from the back of his throat, and Ciel shuddered. “Do not pretend to know how I feel,” the demon hissed. “He defiled you. I may hurt you, but I am still your protector. If your orders—,”

“ORDERS?” Ciel shrieked, sitting up. “How _dare_ you say anything about orders when you hardly ever obey them?! What did that have to do with any orders I gave anyway?”

Sebastian closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn’t need it, but the calming sensation it brought along helped soothe his temper. “To investigate, to go undercover. Really, you must be careful with what you say, young master. If you wanted it to end, you could have said something. I would have been _more_ than willing to make it stop if only you would have said something,” he bit out.

Staring into the wild eyes before him, the demon realized it would do no good to reprimand the Earl now. Brushing some hair out of the boy’s face, he leaned in slightly. The expression changed, from fright to…confusion.

No. Sebastian abruptly stood, leaving Ciel to fall back against the bed. He took the fresh pants and slid them up the boy’s legs, then stuffed the loose shirt into them. As he adjusted other parts of the outfit, he didn’t meet the boy’s gaze. “Now, it may be a few days until the auction, because they’ll want to make sure everyone knows you’re here in order to draw a good crowd. We have until then to search for the missing people. But if it comes time for the auction…I will _not_ allow anyone to buy you. We will end our investigation and will have to find another way to solve the case.”

It was odd to be given orders by his butler, but for some reason he nodded in understanding. It was what he would have said, if he had the wherewithal. He was still analyzing everything that just happened—the test, the bath, Sebastian’s reactions—but couldn’t make sense of any of it. It was almost like…no. Anything but love. This was only for his entertainment.

“Where did Lau go?” he asked softly, once he gained back his words.

“The rat didn’t want to stick around. He sealed the deal and then took off, but I’m sure we’ll see him again at the end of this.”

“Tch.”

“Would you like to search for them while we have time?” the butler asked. It was strange, as if everything were back to normal again. His eyes were normal, his voice was normal, as if none of this was happening, as if this was just another case. But it wasn’t. Things were different now.

“Yes,” Ciel answered anyway. He wanted this to be over quickly.

They left the room and began wandering around the building. Ciel saw a lot of people in various stages of abuse and debauchery. From the young to the old, kids to adults, male and female. None of them he recognized, none of them he knew. Eyes peered out at him, pleading, looking at him as if they knew and understood. He couldn’t hold their gaze.

Images of the past kept merging with the present reality, until he had to stop and lean against the wall. Dizziness overtook him, making his limbs shake and hang heavy. Sebastian stepped close but was waved off. He couldn’t accept comfort at this time, not from him.

“There he is,” a man’s voice permeated through the haze. As he approached, Ciel couldn’t tell what he really looked like. Was he wearing a mask and robes, or street clothes? Was it a mask and normal clothing, or just robes? The man’s image blurred and warped, until Ciel had to shut his eyes. If the boy had anything left in him, he would have vomitted again. Now all he could do was gag.

“Were you looking for us? I just took him to get cleaned,” Sebastian spoke up.

“Yes, we want to put him in with the rest of the group for the auction. We don’t like to mix goods who aren’t going to be sold at the same time and place. Some of these slaves are for certain individuals, or already sold, so mingling is prohibited,” the man replied as he got closer.

“Of course. I’m sure it makes it harder for them to band together and escape as well,” Sebastian said.

The man roared with laughter. “I can tell you’ve done this before. But wait, why isn’t he in chains? All goods must be properly restrained until they are sold.”

Ciel looked up to his butler. ‘ _Has he done this before?’_ Before he could think too much, the chains were slapped on him again. Dismay colored his features.

“I was waiting until he was completely dry, because I didn’t want them to rub against his damp skin.”

“Heh, a professional, eh? Or just smart,” the man muttered and beckoned them to follow. Sebastian offered to carry his master, knowing he was feeling weak and dazed, but again was waved off. His young lord was still strong.

They were taken into a room with a large number of other slaves, huddled together in chains. The detective instantly recognized their faces, even if some of them blurred together. As far as names, he was still unable to recall them. Now that they found what they were looking for, the haze was beginning to clear. He could focus on rescuing them and getting out of this hell hole. ‘ _But what would I be returning to? Would it really be any better than this?’_

Well for one, it would be his own mansion, where he would be the master instead of a slave. He would have respite during the day, and when his servants and guests were around. But at night? It wouldn’t be strangers creeping into his bed in the darkness, their eyes glowing out at him. It would be Sebastian.

“It’s them,” Ciel whispered.

“Yes, we found them,” Sebastian replied.

“Now to get them out of here. I would prefer to save them before being sold, as it would be harder to track them. But…”

“Why only save this group, you wonder? The Queen wanted this case solved. Whether that includes saving these people or not is up to you, but you cannot save them all. Either take the ones who are on the list, or simply report the sex trade to the Queen and wipe your hands of this business,” the demon told him.

Ciel thought about what he said and had to admit it was the truth. He _couldn’t_ save them all, not even with Sebastian’s strength. But if he only took a few, what would that do to his conscience? Liberating a few while leaving the rest to suffer, or running away and letting them all rot, which was worse?

“Perhaps if we could notify Scotland Yard, they may be able to help,” he heard himself saying. He never thought he would call the Yard for help, those incompetent fools who could barely solve an open murder. But they would need large numbers to get everyone out, and even then a few would be lost. The ones behind the trade—the man who took down his information at the beginning, the testers, the bathing women—not all of them would be arrested for their crimes. Some would escape, and probably take slaves with them. They would scatter like rats, go to a new area to set up business, and start this whole thing all over again. It would never end. Time, resources, nothing would stop them. ‘ _So what should I do now?_ _Make a small dent to be covered later on?’_ It would only be a crack in the wall, easily fixed and erased.

His eyes were cold and hard as his hands curled into tightly clenched fists. The Earl knew what he had to do. “This case is over. We found them, like we were told to. We’ll report to the Queen and have her deal with it how she sees fit. It is not my business to interfere in affairs such as this. We cannot save a few without causing a stir, so we will leave them all here for the Queen to save, if she so desires. My work here is done,” he finally looked up at the demon. “Sebastian, ta—,” before he could finish his statement, the order that would end this all, he was silenced.

A hand was clamped over his mouth, replaced with a cloth tied around his mouth to act as a gag. He was blindfolded and the shoved to the floor. “Gags and blindfolds from now on. We can’t have them talk to each other or see each other. As for you, I believe you’re done here,” a rough voice announced nearby.

Ciel’s mind was frantic. ‘ _How am I going to get out of this now, without the ability to make an order?_ _Sebastian said he would stop the investigation when the auction began, but until then, what other tortures will I have to endure?’_

“Excuse me, but I wasn’t done giving him my instructions. As far as my leaving, that will not happen. I will stay with him until he is sold, unless the buyer requires a trainer, in which case I will be sold with him,” Sebastian answered darkly.

_‘What? What is he saying, why won’t he just take me away now? I already said this case was over, and he knew what I was going to tell him. What is he waiting for?’_ Ciel thought, bewildered at the recent events. ‘ _And would Sebastian really be willing to be sold into slavery just to stay with me?’_ He knew it was because of the contract, but the conviction in the demon’s voice, the reality behind his words, had Ciel thinking there was something more.

“We don’t usually do that,” the man told him.

“You will for this one. He is the Earl Ciel Phantomhive, Watchdog for the Queen, and I am his butler,” Sebastian stated. The admission caused a few gasps from the room, including from Ciel. ‘ _Why is he blowing our cover now?’_

“Ha! You sold your own master into slavery, why should I treat you any different than the others?” the man exclaimed.

“Who said I was the one who sold him? I made a deal with the man who brought us here to stay with him until I was no longer needed. Right now, my services are still required,” the butler said smoothly.

The man didn’t sound pleased, but he also didn’t make a move against him. Ciel wasn’t sure what was going on, but he assumed the man left after that. He could hear and feel Sebastian kneel down next to him.

“Are you alright?” he asked softly. “It seems we’ll have to wait a little longer to leave. I’ve appeased them for now, but they’ll be watching us closely.”

Ciel struggled to speak around the gag, but his words were muffled. _Why can’t Sebastian just take the gag off and let me speak? Are there still people there, watching?_ _It doesn’t matter if the other slaves hear, so why wait?’_ He tried to convey his thoughts through his mumbles and actions, hoping Sebastian could interpret the meaning.

The boy heard a soft chuckle, one he knew well. He could imagine the expression behind that chuckle, and the intent as well. “Not yet,” came the whispered reply.

Now there was nothing he could do. Sebastian would do what he always did—wait until the last minute to save him, so the torment would go on for as long as possible. All those close calls and near misses were just sadistic little gestures from the demon to his prey, teasing moments to entice the flavor of his food.

This event was the perfect seasoning for Ciel’s soul, and he would be left to simmer and let the spices sink in. Giving up, the boy leaned back and accepted his current fate. He would feel as the others did, waiting until the end came, wondering when or if they would ever be saved. Maybe this was Sebastian’s way of making sure Ciel knew what he was doing by deciding to leave them behind and save only himself.

_But how can I make a different decision? It’s impossible…isn’t it?’_

***

Time passed in the same haze as earlier, with visions of his past and present merging and clinging to him like a fog. Ciel went in and out of consciousness, partly entrapped in his nightmares and partly absorbed in reality. He didn’t want to wait for days until the auction. He didn’t want to be stuck here one minute longer.

“Looks like it didn’t take that long for word to spread. We’re expecting a huge crowd tonight, so get him ready now,” the boy heard a voice say distortedly through the daze. ‘ _How long has it been already? A few hours, or a whole day? What time is it, where is the sun in the sky? Or is the moon out, illuminating the building and spilling in through the windows?’_ Ciel hoped it wasn’t nighttime yet. Sebastian might not save him if it was nighttime.

“Get up, little Earl, it’s show time,” a voice snarled in his ear. He was grabbed by the elbow and dragged up. He stumbled, legs refusing to support him, and was gripped harder. Despite his impaired movements, the Earl was lead through the building to where he could only assume was the auction room. ‘ _Where is Sebastian?’_

“Good thing his trainer stepped out for a moment, or else he would’ve put up a fight, heh,” another voice spoke up. He recognized it from earlier, as the man who challenged Sebastian’s right to stay. ‘ _That must mean…’_

“Tonight, we have a very special surprise for everyone. As you know, we recently acquired something that many of you have so amorously been after. This is a solo piece, and will be sold to the highest bidder. You may recognize him.” Ciel heard an announcer say.

A spotlight was put on him and suddenly the blindfold was unwrapped. Blinded for a few moments by the bright lights, Ciel could only hear the gasps and excited murmurs before he saw the faces behind them. They were looking at him with satisfied smirks, wearing masks. His nightmare reborn.

“We will begin the bidding at—,” the announcer began, but was cut off as a dark cloak wrapped around him.

Ciel was encased in shadow and turned to see Sebastian, dressed as he first saw him three years ago. Stilettos glinted off the spotlight before black feathers fell all around them, drowning out the small amount of light in the room. In the silence that followed, the click-clack of heels could be heard throughout the whole auction area.

“Sorry, but this one is taken,” the demon growled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet baby Satan what have I done? This is probably one of the longest chapters of the fic, but I didn’t want to separate the investigation into two chapters. I didn’t really expect it to be this long, but I guess I got carried away, eheh. Anyway, let me know what you think! Questions, comments, and suggestions are accepted. But no flames. I will sic Sociopath Sebastian on you.


End file.
